Today Everybody Wins. Including Me.

Posted on May 24, 2013 by Kim Bongiorno at LetMeStartBySaying

I believe there is a certain power in being nice.

I think it means you are taking control, deliberately choosing to walk a path of kindness, generosity, goodness despite what Life throws at your head along the way.

Like lemons. And poop.

It’s not always easy, mentally. Or on principal. Or because of a calculation of what is “fair” that’s going on in your head.

But, really? It is actually pretty damn easy to be nice.

When I started writing here regularly, in 2010, I was calling out to empty halls. I started reading more blogs (I was more of a message-board/online journal-reading girl at the time) and fell in love with both the reading and the writing of them.

I couldn’t help myself but to blather away in the comments sections of posts that stirred me. And, even though I had less “fans” than toes at the time, I also couldn’t help but shout my love for these blogs from the (pretty much empty) rafters.

I didn’t have anything to offer these bloggers & writers except my gratitude for their making me laugh or think or cry or feel or want to achieve a quality of writing like theirs.

Which, if you think about it, is also kind of everything…dontcha think?

Then there came a point at which people began telling their friends and fans about me. The first time I saw this happen, I actually laughed out loud – it was a thrill to feel heard!

The big turning point for me was when I had just under 800 Facebook fans.

On October 19, 2011, I wrote a post about my kids breaking my butt, and everything changed.

Some bigger bloggers noticed me, and insisted their fans read me. Sh*t My Kids Ruined was a big part of that. Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva, was, too, along with many others.

But you know who also really helped? All the individual people – the ones without blogs – that kept telling their friends to read me, “Like” me, talk to me. I more than doubled my Facebook Fans overnight, because all these people were nice to me.

One at a time, they – you – chose to be nice.

I couldn’t give them much of anything in return, other than my appreciation, and that was okay.

That’s the way it is in Life every day, isn’t it?

Personally, I think when we are nice, everybody wins.

So, today, let’s make everyone a winner, shall we?

Before I announce the 4 winners of the giveaway, I’d like to shine a spotlight on some bloggers I’ve seen around the web that deserve some niceness. They do good work, and I think would benefit from a few more sets of eyes on them.

None of them know I’m doing this today. None of them have more than 800ish-fans (from what I could tell). All of them deserve more.

Wub Boo Mummy Another-time-zone amusing. And really nice.

Trudging Through Fog An amazing fiction writer, who always impressed me when I was doing writing prompt work.

The Cotton Floozy Just…go there. Now.

Short Fat Dictator She is consistently awesome.

Mommyproof Love her perspective, her blog is pretty to stare at while you ponder her words.

Naptime Writing I’m a looooongtime fan of hers.

Think.Stew He has a unique voice and always an interesting perspective.

Jen Has a Pen I’ve quietly stalked her for longer than I should admit publicly.

Katy in a Corner Her videos make me laugh.

Next Life, No Kids She has kids of all ages and remains sane.

Point Counter-Point Point Point These guys may be slightly insane, but that makes them more loveable.

Bad Sandy Expect 4-letter words (and longer).

Coffee & Zombie Movies Is there really any way to explain this one?

Please go visit/Like/stalk all of those above, who are now kicking off a little project of mine: The Blogs to Grow Pinterest Board. I’m inviting a handful of friends to help me pin blogs of the same size and quality from this point on. So many people helped me, it’s the right thing to do to help others. Come follow along, so you can help more blogs grow too.

Now it’s YOUR turn.
In the comments below, give me the name & link to a blogger that has under 800 fans (and is not yours). Let’s keep being nice!

Finally…
the winners of the 4 Kim’s 10K Giveaway Prize Bags are:

Jami Hamilton
Gabrielle Fiore
Sandra
Cassie Stegman

You will each receive an email from me shortly with instructions on how to claim your prize. Congratulations, and thanks for sharing the love!

One last thing: THANK YOU to all the people who entered this giveaway, shared it all over social media, and to the 16 lovable huggable sponsors who donated prizes. I owe each and every one of you a cuddle and a cupcake!

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Posted in Blogging, Giveaway, Tips & Being a Blogger | Tagged Blogging, Blogs to Read, Giveaway, Kindness, Life, Winning | Leave a comment

The Cicadas Sent Me to the Mall. Yes, REALLY.

Posted on May 23, 2013 by Kim Bongiorno at LetMeStartBySaying

Paper-thin slices of sunlight striped the weeds around me.

The air was thick with the richness of New England soil, but cool there beneath the pungent planks of a homemade deck.

I listened to the buzz of crickets, my own breath, the softly-approaching footsteps of my brother. Curious spiders clung to their webs above my flaxen pony tails, wondering what I was up to this time.

Each thin boney hand held my weapon of choice, and I bit back a grin: he had no idea what was coming.

“Kim…?” he called with a high voice into the woods, over towards the garden. It was hard not to giggle. His small shadow darkened my hiding spot for a moment, then he started down the simple steps.

He didn’t hear my skinny legs unfolding behind him, or see my arms roll back for the throw.

He only felt the slap of four garden snakes pelting him, one after another, as I shrieked with laughter. “GOTCHA!” His shock only lasted a second before he was a scooping up the snakes I had been patiently holding in my gentle grip, and tossing them right back at me.

I’ve always been comfortable with nature.

Animals, bugs, worms, beetles, snakes, fish – I never met a critter I didn’t like.

My brother and I used to have garden snake fights on a regular basis. The yard we lived in until I was 7 was a perfect breeding ground for them: a long dipping yard with a huge garden next to a wide, shady deck that backed up into woods. We both knew how to safely catch them, and that nothing is crazier than seeing one get tossed at your head. (We have since stopped using live animals as weapons, so no need to call PETA on us thankyouverymuch)

We also would go on filthy, creature-themed adventures. Summers were spent pollywogging, seeing who could catch the biggest crayfish from the brook, lifting massive rocks to discover new bugs, catching fireflies, digging up Earth worms to fish with.

Even now, as an adult, I’m the one who gently escorts wanderlust spiders out of the house and helps her own kids find worms to plop into the garden.

But every girl has her limits.

You may have heard that the cicadas are currently invading the East Coast, particularly New Jersey.

I live in New Jersey now, yo.

Have you ever seen the devil up close?

I have.

I actually took this picture with my phone while trying not to scream like the skeeved-out little girl that I am while in their presence.

Maybe it’s the fact that these monster bugs hide out for 17 years and then all come out en masse like a noisy, crunchy plague that seems so unnatural to me.

Maybe it’s the fact that Wikipedia insists they are usually “benign to humans under normal circumstances (!!!) and do not bite or sting in a true sense (???), but may mistake a person’s arm or other part of their body for a tree or plant limb and attempt to feed,” which I do not find reassuring at all.

But I am totally creeped out by these things.

Question #1: How do dead shell things hold onto trees so well?
Question #2: How do dead shell things have HAIR? What the HELL is up with THAT??

There are enough now that we have to watch our step outside, for the ground is getting coated with the juicy nymphs, crunchy shedded shells/exoskeletons, and buzzy-winged adult cicadas as big as my man-hand thumbs.

They are hanging on our trees, fences, mailboxes and patio furniture; landing on us as we stand talking to one another at the park; looking for a way into our shady garages to pass time until the mating period begins.

Eeeeeeewwwwwww!!!

I have finally found a creature (other than moths, i.e.: Satan’s Powdery Lap Cat) that I don’t want to play with, pet, or even throw at my brother.

So, yeah. Never say “never,” my friends. Or else a million cicadas will emerge from the ground and force you to seek shelter for an entire summer.

Since I won’t be spending ANY time outside in the forseeable future, please prepare yourself for many stories about what happens in my basement or the mall throughout the summer. I’m sure there will be scintillating tales to tell.

I’m kicking off this summer of Let’s Avoid the Cicada Devils by talking about the types of people I ALWAYS see at the mall, over on InThePowderRoom. Come on by – it’s safe over there.

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Posted in Humor, In The Powder Room, Me & My Time | Tagged 17 Year Cicadas, Cicadas, Cicadas in New Jersey, Humor, inThePowderRoom, My Childhood, The Mall | 5 Comments

Summing Up My Week… (05/12/13-05/19/13)

Posted on May 19, 2013 by Kim Bongiorno at LetMeStartBySaying

…because you have other shizz to do.
Where I’ve been this week on the www.
All summed up so you can move on with your life.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

WHERE I WAS:

I reached 10,000 Facebook Fans, so am giving away $400 in prizes HERE.

On InThePowderRoom HERE making you glad you weren’t me saying what I was saying to my parents during dinner one night. (prepare to cringe)

This weekend (the 18th-19th) I was in Brattleboro, Vermont for a book signing. I’ll post about that this week, but I can say this: I LOVE YOU, VERMONT!

I try to hop onto the #SpikedPunch Twitter Party every Sunday at 9pm EST. Join me!

STUFF I LOVED THIS WEEK:

@TheNDM makes her own fun HERE.

FAVORITE TWEETS:

So many of the meal choices I make for the kids are based directly on when they had their last bath.

— Greta Funk (@gfunkified) May 14, 2013

BLOG SPONSORS:

I have 4 wonderful blog sponsors. Please help me show them some love by checking them out & Liking them on Facebook & Twitter.

My Pretty Chic Boutique = Etsy shop of stone & bead jewelry that I covet.
Carpool Goddess = Tales of a modern mom.
Daughter-in-Law Diaries = Advice, support, community for DILs.
Splendid Junk Vintage = Etsy shop of lovely vintage goods.

Okay, now I think that’s everything. Back to your regularly-scheduled weekending…

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Posted in Week Wrap-Up | Tagged Summing Up My Week, Weekly Wrap-Up | 2 Comments

The Most Uncomfortable Dinner Conversation in the History of the World

Posted on May 16, 2013 by Kim Bongiorno at LetMeStartBySaying

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever said in front of your parents?

For me, one conversation comes to mind. Despite the fact that I’ve tried to burn it from my memory for many years now.

You see, my parents didn’t talk to us kids about sex. Ever.

Other than one very specific conversation during which my father felt the pressure to say the phrase “sexual intercourse” in front of me in the second most uncomfortable conversation I’ve ever had with them, I don’t even think I heard either of them ever even say the word “sex” in the past 37 years I’ve been on this planet.

“Gender” – yes.

“Behind” – yes.

That’s as close as it got.

So I was woefully unprepared for, well, Life. And speaking.

Today I’m sharing a story that explains the fallout of such ignorance on InThePowderRoom. CLICK HERE to read it and watch a train wreck of a conversation, and tell me over there if you’ve ever had the same kind of thing happen to you.

Good God I hope not.

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Posted in Family, Humor, In The Powder Room, Me & My Time | Tagged Embarrassing Conversations, inThePowderRoom, My Childhood, Sex, The Sex Talk | 1 Comment

Kim’s 10K Giveaway: Who Wants $400 in Prizes?

Posted on May 13, 2013 by Kim Bongiorno at LetMeStartBySaying

On February 17th, 2011, I started my Let Me Start By Saying Facebook Fan page with a couple of test posts, then this:

No one “Liked” it.
No one “Shared” it.
No one commented.

But that didn’t stop this train.

I kept writing on my blog, kept sharing those posts on Facebook, kept putting up (blurry) pictures & status updates that gave my readers more access to me.

I vowed to get better. To listen. To keep trying.

I loved discovering other writers, bloggers, interesting people on Facebook. It introduced me to some who became my real-life friends, confidantes, writing partners.

I shared things that stirred me – in good, bad, and funny ways.

Conversations began, continued, grew.

The “Likes” grew.
The “Shares” grew.
The comments grew.

I got better. I continued trying to be even better than that.

I was a fellow fan. I was a fellow blogger. I was a blogger with fans. These www relationships blossomed into something more than I ever thought they could be. They took a hold of something inside of me that needed holding, and it felt great.

We’d chat over this blue and white fence that separates our yards in this vast town of Zuckerberg. Commiserating, advising, entertaining.

It was something I looked forward to from the first time it happened. I still feel the same way, every single day.

I had hoped, as a girl working hard to transition from stay-at-home-mom to professional writer, that I would learn from relationships that grew while I built up a platform on which to share my voice. That I could grow to a point that I could somehow express my gratitude to those who kept Liking and Sharing and Commenting from the beginning.

And now I can.

Last week I reached the milestone of 10,000 Facebook fans.

That’s 9,995 more people than I expected (I can always depend on 3 of my friends, a sister-in-law and myself to “Like” stuff I do online).

I do believe it is officially time to celebrate.

Yes, I’ll continue to listen, learn, and try to get better every day. But let me take a moment to show my appreciation to you all for being here. We can get back to talking over the fence in just a few minutes.

What better way to thank those who stick around, than by giving them free stuff I love?

I’m giving away 4 bags full of prizes, worth $100 each

Four of my “Too Much Whine. Not Enough Wine.” tote bags are crammed with goodies like gift cards, mugs, autographed books and more. A gaggle of wonderful friends – all of whom I met online – have donated generously, as outlined below.

There will be 4 winners chosen, each one taking home one of these 4 bags full of awesome:

BAG#1

$30 Amazon.com Gift Card (courtesy of me)

Courtesy of The Midget Man of Steel, Rodney Lacoix:
1 Autographed (including a drawing!) paperback copy of Things Go Wrong For Me (when life hands you lemons, add vodka)

Courtesy of Moms Who Drink and Swear’s Nikki Knepper:
1 Autographed paperback copy of Moms Who Drink and Swear: True Tales of Loving My Kids While Losing My Mind, by Nicole Knepper.

Courtesy of author Rosanne Kurstedt:
1 Autographed hardcover copy of And I Thought About You by Rosanne Kurstedt

Courtesy of My Life and Kid’s Anna Luther:
1 Kindle eBook of 75 Ways to Have More Fun at Home, by Anna Luther

Courtesy of Abby Has Issues’ Abby:
1 Autographed paperback copy of Abby Has Issues, by Abby Heugel

Courtesy of Jen, creator of IJustWantToPeeAlone.com & the I Just Want to Pee Alone Facebook Community:
1 I JUST WANT TO PEE ALONE mug.

BAG #2

$20 Amazon.com Gift Card (courtesy of me)

Courtesy of Wendy Nielsen:
1 $25 Starbucks Gift Card

Courtesy of Mike Adamick:
1 paperback copy of: Dad’s Book of Awesome Projects: From Stilts and Super-Hero Capes to Tinker Boxes and Seesaws, 25+ Fun Do-It-Yourself Projects for Families, by Mike Adamick.

Courtesy of Robin’s Chicks’ Robin O’Bryant:
1 Autographed paperback copy of Ketchup Is A Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves, by Robin O’Bryant

Courtesy of author Peyton Price:
1 Autographed paperback copy of Suburban Haiku: Christmas Special, byt Peyton Price

Courtesy of Jen, creator of IJustWantToPeeAlone.com & the I Just Want to Pee Alone Facebook Community:
1 Autographed (by Jen of People I Want to Punch in the Throat & me) paperback copy of I JUST WANT TO PEE ALONE

Courtesy of My Life and Kid’s Anna Luther:
1 Kindle eBook of 75 Ways to Have More Fun at Home, by Anna Luther

Courtesy of Mommy Shorts’ Ilana Wiles:
1 Mommy Shorts Mug (as seen in Baby Mugging!)

BAG#3

$10 Amazon Gift Card (courtesy of me)

Courtesy of Scary Mommy Jill Smokler:
1 Autographed hardcover copy of Motherhood Comes Naturally (and Other Vicious Lies), by Jill Smokler

1 Autographed hardcover copy of Confessions of a Scary Mommy: An Honest and Irreverent Look at Motherhood – The Good, The Bad, and the Scary, by Jill Smokler

Courtesy of Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva’s Susan McLean:
1 $20 bottle of red wine

Courtesy of author Peyton Price:
1 Autographed paperback copy of Suburban Haiku: Christmas Special, by Peyton Price

Courtesy of Mommy Shorts’ Ilana Wiles:
1 Mommy Shorts Mug (as seen in Baby Mugging!)

Courtesy of My Life and Kid’s Anna Luther:
1 Kindle eBook of 75 Ways to Have More Fun at Home, by Anna Luther

Courtesy of Robin’s Chicks’ Robin O’Bryant:
1 Autographed paperback copy of Ketchup Is A Vegetable: And Other Lies Moms Tell Themselves, by Robin O’Bryant

Courtesy of Abby Has Issues’ Abby:
1 Autographed paperback copy of Abby Has Issues, by Abby Heugel

BAG#4

$10 Zazzle.com Gift Card (courtesy of me)

Courtesy of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures’ Amber Dusick:
1 Autographed hardcover copy of Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, by Amber Dusick

Courtesy of Ninja Mom Blog’s Nicole Leigh Shaw:
1 handmade (by Nicole!) Duck Tape purse
1 Autographed copy of a popular NinjaMom blog post
1 $15 Starbucks Gift Card