Let Me Start By Saying

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Hold the Door: Lessons for My Kids

January 28, 2013 By Kim Bongiorno at LetMeStartBySaying 74 Comments

I write a lot of notes to myself: story ideas, grocery lists, wines to try, blog post ideas…

But the most important things I haven’t been writing down, are the things I want my kids to learn from me by example. 

The problem is this: Not only am I not always the most stellar example-maker around, I also have a terrible memory (thus all the lists). I want the best for my kids, but sometimes I just can’t remember to teach the lesson when it arises at times they aren’t by my side.

So I decided to write a list for my son and daughter. I found a scrap of paper in my handbag & started jotting lessons down on it.

“Take chances that won’t hurt yourself or others” ~ from Hold the Door: Lessons for My Kids
Click To Tweet

It was filled up within a day, so I added more to a piece of notebook paper, then some on my phone, and so on.

I figured what better place to share my list – so far – than right here. A place where people are more than willing to tell me what I forgot to put on it.

Without further ado, here are some lessons I want my kids to learn. Please feel free to add more in the comments—I’ll take any help at this parenting gig that I can get.

Lessons for My Kids by @LetMeStart Kim Bongiorno

And from a lesson I recently learned, Be Kind. To yourself, and others.

What would you add to this list?

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49 life lessons every kid needs to learn. Raising good kids? This is all you need them to know. @letmestart

Comments

  1. ronnie says

    January 28, 2013 at 12:14 pm

    Perfect!

    Reply
  2. Megan says

    January 28, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    Treat people the way you want to be treated. Even if its difficult. Your kindness will stick with them, making them feel awful will stick with you.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 28, 2013 at 3:36 pm

      I love the way you put that.

      Reply
  3. TishM says

    January 28, 2013 at 1:05 pm

    Wonderful! I’m going to print this if that’s okay with you.

    Reply
    • Megan says

      January 28, 2013 at 1:06 pm

      Absolutely!

      Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 28, 2013 at 3:37 pm

      Of course, TishM!

      Reply
  4. Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 says

    January 28, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    You should put this on a plaque and sell it!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 28, 2013 at 3:39 pm

      Free for all to print & hang on their fridges! 😉

      Reply
      • Stephanie says

        January 30, 2013 at 2:31 pm

        Kim, this is beautiful! And I love all the additional comments from others, too. Do you think you’ll make this a graphic image for printing? As it is it won’t print on one sheet for me…although that could be user error!

        Reply
        • Janna says

          April 11, 2013 at 3:00 pm

          I can’t get it to print either:( Am I doing something wrong? Probably;) Love this list! Would love to print for my fridge!

          Reply
  5. Kathy at kissing the frog says

    January 28, 2013 at 2:45 pm

    There’s so much wonderful advice on this list, Kim, I don’t know where to start. A lot of it is common sense and common courtesy, but that does need to be taught. Like picking up things that fall. I am always telling my boys to do that – it’s just polite. I really love all of this!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 28, 2013 at 3:41 pm

      Common Sense & Common Courtesy aren’t as rampant these days as they were when I was little. I love for them to become trendy, but until then, I’m going to make sure I instill them in my kids while they’re young.

      Reply
  6. JD Bailey @ Honest Mom says

    January 28, 2013 at 3:10 pm

    Lovely list.

    I would add:

    “Rest every day in some way. Your body and mind need it, whether you’re 5 or 50.”

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 28, 2013 at 5:28 pm

      Absolutely! Nap now, nap later. I dig it.

      Reply
  7. Brenda says

    January 28, 2013 at 3:32 pm

    Mine are middle schoolers – I’m trying to about gratitude. With that in mind:

    Looking to the future is great, but don’t forget to appreciate what you have, and where you are RIGHT NOW!

    Learn what it is to have “enough”. (Enough food, enough possessions, strength, time, money…)

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 28, 2013 at 5:29 pm

      Oooohhh I love the “enough!” Appreciate what’s right in front of you, instead of “needing” the next big thing.

      Reply
  8. Chris Carter says

    January 28, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    Just lovely… needs to go in a frame for all parents to give to their kids!! 🙂

    Reply
  9. Chris Carter says

    January 28, 2013 at 4:11 pm

    Just lovely… Put it in a frame and hang on your wall. 🙂

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 28, 2013 at 5:30 pm

      Thanks, Chris! And I think I heard that you shared it? Much appreciated!

      Reply
  10. michelle @ this little light says

    January 28, 2013 at 4:52 pm

    Chris Carter shared this on her Facebook page and I just had to stop by and read. What a fantastic post … thank you! Please, if you have a moment, I’d love for you to stop by my Monday “Much Ado” link up and include it.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 28, 2013 at 5:31 pm

      Thanks for coming by Michelle! I’ll try to pop over soon…

      Reply
  11. Ninja Mom says

    January 28, 2013 at 5:00 pm

    Lovely. Just like you.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 28, 2013 at 5:31 pm

      🙂

      Reply
  12. Lisa @ The Golden Spoons says

    January 28, 2013 at 7:27 pm

    Recently found your blog and so glad I did! This is awesome!

    I would add: Don’t compromise who you are in order to please others. You will only end up disappointed in yourself.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 29, 2013 at 3:47 pm

      Hi Lisa – thanks! And I love your addition to my list.

      Reply
  13. Amy says

    January 28, 2013 at 11:30 pm

    I loved all of this, but “Know who has trouble saying ‘I love you’ and let them show you, instead.” put a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye.
    So lovely!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 29, 2013 at 3:48 pm

      That one is so me. I tell my kids all the time, but I have a hard time telling grown-ups. But I show. I really do show it.

      Reply
    • LibbyP says

      February 8, 2013 at 12:24 pm

      My father is of German descent. In the German language, there isn’t really a word for love between a parent and a child – the love is assumed. So my father isn’t orally demonstrative. And that’s totally fine, I’ve never doubted his love for me. I married into a family that is very orally demonstrative and I love it! So I’ve decided to tell my dad that I love him every time I speak to him (we’re long distance) and to not be concerned that he doesn’t say it back. We’re both doing the best we can, and we love each other. And that’s more than enough for me.

      Reply
  14. Kelly says

    January 29, 2013 at 2:10 am

    I love this list! One thing I thought of to add,
    No matter how much you’re looking forward to something or wanting something to be over; don’t wish away time. Once it’s gone you never get it back.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 29, 2013 at 3:49 pm

      When I’m sniffing new baby heads or watching my kids laugh the belly laugh, I wish I had a Pause button. So, yes, I agree.

      Reply
  15. Devan says

    January 29, 2013 at 5:34 am

    LOVE!!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 29, 2013 at 5:11 pm

      Thanks!

      Reply
  16. Bethany @ Bad Parenting Moments says

    January 29, 2013 at 9:44 am

    Lovely. Funny. Sweet. A perfect mix of humor/real world advice. Now, take thee to a Letterpress designer.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 29, 2013 at 5:11 pm

      On it!

      Reply
  17. Lynn says

    January 29, 2013 at 10:14 am

    LOVE this! It’s absolutely perfect!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 29, 2013 at 5:12 pm

      Aw, thanks Lynn!

      Reply
  18. Jessica says

    January 29, 2013 at 1:37 pm

    Love this so much Kim. I love how you can be hilariously funny and then overwhelmingly thoughtful and sweet.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 29, 2013 at 5:13 pm

      That means a lot, Jessica.

      Reply
  19. Heather says

    January 29, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    Sometimes the right thing to do is also the hardest.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 30, 2013 at 5:12 pm

      Yes, it is.

      Reply
  20. Nina says

    January 30, 2013 at 2:05 am

    Oh my goodness-I love this so much! Printing and putting on our fridge!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      January 30, 2013 at 5:13 pm

      Thanks, Nina!

      Reply
  21. The Loving Parent says

    January 30, 2013 at 9:02 am

    What a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing! 🙂

    Reply
  22. Jessica says

    January 30, 2013 at 9:12 am

    This is just wonderful!! All of the ideas of how to get them into my home are now swimming in my head. Got to get this printed out and FAST!! 😉

    Reply
  23. Michelle says

    January 30, 2013 at 10:23 am

    Always keep change in your car for kids with lemonade stands. Always pay twice as much as they are asking!

    Reply
  24. Sharon says

    January 30, 2013 at 10:35 am

    Chase your dreams; face your fears.

    I love this list. Thanks so much! If you do an update, be sure to post it! In the meantime, I’m going to print and hang this one 🙂

    Reply
  25. Joell says

    January 30, 2013 at 11:01 am

    Good list! One I would add is “Speak when spoken to.” This is one I’m working on with my 4 year old, as she tends to ignore people when they say “Hello” or “Good Morning!”

    Reply
    • LibbyP says

      February 8, 2013 at 12:27 pm

      This is a good one, too. I’ve taught mine to respond with a question and then listen to the response. Funny that we have to teach these things, but they are important!!

      Reply
  26. Megan says

    January 30, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    Great list!!
    I would add…Private parts are called that for a reason…don’t touch them in public.
    Also, when you shake someone’s hand, be sure to look them in the eye as well.
    Cheers!

    Reply
  27. The Bonded Mom says

    January 30, 2013 at 11:59 pm

    This is so freaking cool! This may be random, but my favorite is “Learn to make people laugh without making anyone cry.”

    I want to take this list and, because kids and teens can only focus in on so much, “feature” one item for a week on my fridge. Over Christmas break, I took all my magnetic writing boards off my fridge, and now just write directly on my fridge. The kids find it cool and hey, it gives me more room to “preach it” 🙂

    Hmmmm, what to add??? “don’t ever stop your flow of tears. if your heart is releasing them, then let them out.”

    Reply
  28. Gina Jacobs Thomas (@totallyfullofit) says

    January 31, 2013 at 8:46 am

    Love it! Simple tips, but powerful as well. It’s the list I think I try to achieve, but forget to actually teach to the little ones.

    Reply
  29. hollow tree ventures says

    January 31, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    You got me all teary, girl – love this. Pinning (to Pinterest, and to the front of my kids’ shirts in hopes they’ll absorb the wisdom).

    Reply
  30. Brandy Winstead says

    March 7, 2013 at 12:49 am

    Ask for help when you need it. No one can help you with a problem if they don’t know what the problem is.

    Reply
  31. Heather says

    March 31, 2013 at 2:39 am

    I would add:

    Say what you mean and mean what you say

    When you see a person who has special needs, always say ‘hi’ and if you ever hear someone being mean to them stand up to them.

    If there is a kid who is overweight, be nice – that child does not get to choose yet what to eat. Their parents are responsible, so be kind and teach others

    Never ever say ‘no’ to your mama no matter how old you are. I still yes to mine.

    Reply
  32. Amy says

    April 2, 2013 at 12:26 am

    I loved it!! I would add: Pray Daily and Forgive, always forgive

    Reply
  33. shelley macpherson says

    April 3, 2013 at 8:29 pm

    Found this on Pinterest; mind if I reblog it?

    Reply
    • Kim Bongiorno at LetMeStartBySaying says

      April 4, 2013 at 2:31 pm

      Hi Shelley- Thanks so much for the compliment. 🙂 I prefer my graphic posts not get re-blogged, but shared on social media is always VERY much appreciated. Thanks for asking!

      Reply
  34. Natalie says

    April 3, 2013 at 10:13 pm

    There will always be someone smarter, prettier and wealthier than you. Appreciate what you do have and celebrate it!

    Reply
  35. Amanda says

    June 4, 2013 at 1:41 am

    Loved it. One thing I want my children to follow growing up, “If you’re thinking something nice about someone.. Just tell them.”

    Reply
    • Kim Bongiorno at LetMeStartBySaying says

      June 4, 2013 at 8:39 pm

      Yes – we get hung up on NOT saying the things that aren’t so nice, that I think we forget to say the good stuff we should be sharing.

      Reply
  36. Amanda says

    June 18, 2013 at 2:44 am

    I absolutely love this..I worry that I’ll somehow forget to teach these lessons to my little one, but this makes for a wonderful reminder. 🙂

    ‘Admire the stars. Feel small while doing it.’

    Thanks much!

    Reply
  37. Jaime says

    September 4, 2013 at 9:17 pm

    Decide to be happy.

    Reply
  38. Jaime says

    September 4, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    P.s…absolutely love this. Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  39. Dart says

    February 27, 2014 at 11:31 am

    choose joy — every single day, choose joy.

    Reply
  40. Sandy lamkin says

    October 16, 2014 at 8:59 am

    I love your list. So many great character lessons that we all need to share. The one and only thing that I would add and that would be Don’t Litter, and it doesn’t hurt to pick up someone else’ litter. I taught this to my children and am now teaching the grand kids. If we could all do this our beautiful country will remand beautiful.

    Reply
  41. Trish F. says

    March 13, 2015 at 12:53 pm

    Love these! Here’s one I try to instill in my 14 yr. old:

    “If you say or do something you think is funny and you are the only one laughing, It’s NOT Funny.”

    Reply
  42. Della d. says

    March 28, 2015 at 10:44 pm

    Character is what you do when no one is watching.

    Reply
  43. Fiona Cooper says

    June 1, 2015 at 2:44 am

    I love this list, BUT, I nearly stopped at “Don’t trust everyone, don’t trust anyone”, I just don’t understand what this is doing on a list which seems to be predicated on kindness, trust and acceptance. I teach my kids to follow their gut (which is on the list) – this means they trust nearly everyone, because nearly everyone is trustworthy. If you teach them to trust noone, what kind of message is that sending them about humanity……. there is no hope!!!

    Reply
    • Kim Bongiorno at LetMeStartBySaying says

      June 1, 2015 at 6:58 am

      It’s actually “don’t NOT trust anyone,” so we are on the same page here. 🙂

      Reply
  44. PAT MARTIN says

    June 5, 2015 at 1:43 pm

    Wonderful!
    Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.
    (For example, just because our Constitution guarantees you the right, it doesn’t make it kind, tasteful, or appropriate.)

    Reply
  45. Jacquelynn says

    July 28, 2015 at 2:03 pm

    I’ll never forget something my economics profession once said. It’s a criticism of today’s American society but within the comment is a valuable lesson to be learned and followed. It will need some rephrasing I’m sure:
    ” …today, children and taught highly value opinions, that it is important to have your own opinions and to respect the opinions of other as well. This is all fine and dandy, but is missing an essential component. What children are NOT being taught is the importance of research, doing the leg work to find true FACTS with CREDIBLE SOURCES, that validate one’s opinions”

    Basically my understanding is that she was pointing out how many people in today’s society have such strong opinions on things that they either don’t actually even understand properly, or are misinformed about. Heck, people for opinions now a days based on what they heard someone else say or sometimes based on nothing at all!

    Reply
  46. Michelle Leiby says

    March 22, 2017 at 12:25 pm

    I received this blog a couple of years ago from a dear friend. I was never taught good values as a child. I absolutely fell in love with reading this everyday. Most people think parenting is instinct but until you wear the shoes of an abused child and see what they see parenting is not for all. Thank you for everyone that does have some sense and makes the world brighter with writing.

    Reply
  47. Nene says

    September 12, 2017 at 11:29 am

    I love this SOOO MUCH! I IMMEDIATELY WRITE IT DOWN AND GONNA PUT IT ON MY FRIDGE AND SEND IT TO A FEW MOMMIES. THANKS!

    Reply
  48. Lee @ Dragon'sEyeView says

    July 9, 2018 at 6:18 am

    Such a wonderful list for everyone — little dragons too! Thank you, thank you!

    Reply

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