How Being A Parent is Like Being A Rock Star

1. Endless hours on the road with too many people in the vehicle.

2. Your job is to entertain a room full of loud, writhing maniacs.

3. If you do your job well, people ask when you’ll produce more.

4. You ask yourself daily: ”Am I tripping?  Or did I really just see that?”

5. Your name is always shouted, never spoken.

6. Someone is always pulling at your clothes.

7. Groupies follow you to the bathroom.

8. There’s a different person in your bed every night.  Sometimes even two.

9. At the end of your work day, you’re sweaty and your hair is a mess.

10. Screaming is just part of the job.

Can You Feel It, Baby? I Can, Too.


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Comments

      • says

        Oh my gosh I JUST posted a silly country song I wrote about being inspired on the toilet and then confessed that actually the only thing I’m doing when I’m on the toilet is fending off my kids!!! Don’t you love the strange, mystical similarities that occur in waves among us bloggers? :) Cool.

      • Becky says

        It doesn’t get any better as they get older either . . . I still have company in the bathroom & she’s 12, almost 13.

    • says

      You should watch it with us. I know the lyrics to all the songs (and sing them with aplomb) and Husband knows all the lines in the movie itself.
      Pretty sure this proves that we are rather cool.

  1. says

    It’s amazing how succinctly you can sum up what a day in Hel…….I mean, the life of a mommy is like. Numbers 6 – 10 pretty much lay out what my life is like on a daily basis. I’ve even written an entire blog on #7. It’s like a damn rave in there as soon as I sit down.

    Regarding #6, I actually said to my daughter today, “Will you please, please, PLEASE get your hands out of my ass?” She is constantly trying to put her hands in my back pockets or down the front of my shirt. She’s obsessed with “boodies” (read: boobies.) This is especially awesome when we have male friends or family members over. EVERYONE has seen my boobs.

    Seriously, this is one of my favorites so far and I voted on it. I’m totally going to link it on my blog so hopefully, you’ll be getting many more votes. :) Can’t wait for the next one.

    P.S. I think I laughed just as much at the tag under Mr. Wahlberg’s picture as I did the blog.

    • says

      My favorite is looking at the door while sitting on the can, seeing 6-8 little fingers poking underneath it. AS IF I CAN’T SEE THEM. Or hear them. Ugh. A peaceful poo would be nice every once in a while.

      So glad you liked this. The photo caption was for my own entertainment. It is nice to hear that other people find that just as amusing…

  2. says

    I know that I couldn’t come up with a list like this if I tried for years! It is spot on & now I feel good knowing that I am kinda, no really, a rock star!!! Awesome post (and who doesn’t love a little Marky Mark ala Rock Star, Mark Wahlberg)!

    Reading the comments, maybe you could make it a top 20 list?

  3. says

    Dude. This is seriously one of the funniest things I’ve EVER read. You hit the nail on the head babeh!!!!! OMGosh I HAVE to pass this along to EVERYBODY! Be prepared for an onslaught of readers from seemingly out of nowhere. :D And thanks for the (millions of) laughs! And for making me feel so much better about #7. ;D

  4. says

    This was one of those, “Why didn’t I think about writing that?” posts. So TOTALLY ACCURATE. Loved it and read it out loud to my husband.

  5. says

    You have outdone yourself with this one. Brilliant. You managed to liken my sloppy, semi-public bathroom using, hit-or-miss showering, annoying cartoon watching, food shaped like characters from annoying cartoon eating life to that of a rock star. Magic.

  6. says

    I’m flicking a lighter right now. It’s a grill lighter and not a bad ass rockstar zippo, but hey, I’ll still wave it in the air for you. You forgot that fans grope your private bits in public places.

  7. says

    HA! Screaming is just part of the job.

    I do most of my screaming into a pillow because my kid is still pretty young, but I get that. I so get that.

  8. says

    Haha!! This is so true! Love the one about the groupies in the bathroom. So true!

    (Thanks for linking this up with us over at #findingthefunny last week!)

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