1. Endless hours on the road with too many people in the vehicle.
2. Your job is to entertain a room full of loud, writhing maniacs.
3. If you do your job well, people ask when you’ll produce more.
4. You ask yourself daily: “Am I tripping? Or did I really just see that?”
5. Your name is always shouted, never spoken.
6. Someone is always pulling at your clothes.
7. Groupies follow you to the bathroom.
8. There’s a different person in your bed every night. Sometimes even two.
9. At the end of your work day, you’re sweaty and your hair is a mess.
10. Screaming is just part of the job.
Can You Feel It, Baby? I Can, Too.
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I never looked at it that way, but YES, this is spot-on accurate! Love it!
Thanks, Heather!
Great list!!
Thanks, ladies!
Love it! I feel so much cooler now.
Shall we start wearing tight leather pants now?
11. You develop an addiction to a hard drug- your kids love.
Damn straight.
GEE WHIZZ this has seriously got me giggling like loon. congrated on freshly pressed this deserved it.. BRILLIANT must stick on fridge!!
Thanks for the heads-up! I didn’t know til I saw your comment. I’m sure Marky Mark will love his spot on your fridge in between alphabet magnets & expired diaper coupons. 😉
Too true! Especially about the groupies in the bathroom. This is hilaaaaarious!
I have to beg, bribe or BOLT to have a bowel movement without little witnesses. So annoying.
Oh my gosh I JUST posted a silly country song I wrote about being inspired on the toilet and then confessed that actually the only thing I’m doing when I’m on the toilet is fending off my kids!!! Don’t you love the strange, mystical similarities that occur in waves among us bloggers? 🙂 Cool.
It doesn’t get any better as they get older either . . . I still have company in the bathroom & she’s 12, almost 13.
The only thing you really missed is the fact that, almost daily, someone throws underwear at you.
Yes! Great point. Love this.
(Question: do rock stars get Transformers & Yo Gabba Gabba briefs thrown at them, too?)
Maybe Hello Kitty. But no girls at my house, so that’s conjecture.
You left out all of the late night binge drinking…or maybe that’s just me 😉
How ever could I forget this? Thanks for the addition!
OK I LOVED this one!!!!!!!! What about the obligatory trashing of a room within 5 minutes of entering it?? Hee!!!
Yes! YES. Hell. Yeah.
This is the best post I’ve read all day!!! Love it. Thanks for making me laugh I needed it!
Happy to help!
Great, now I need to rent that movie.
You should watch it with us. I know the lyrics to all the songs (and sing them with aplomb) and Husband knows all the lines in the movie itself.
Pretty sure this proves that we are rather cool.
You’re a genius for two reasons. 1) This is possibly the most accurate description of motherhood ever, and 2) you made me spit my mommy juice when i read the comment you left for me.
Voted!!!
I’m sorry to make you lose a bit of your mommy juice. Next martini is on me. Promise.
Frazzledfoodie made a very good point…
Squealing girls toss their Hello Kitty underpants at you on a daily basis.
Hahaha!!! Yet another. Maybe you could do a second installment of this soon? Pleeease? ;D
It’s amazing how succinctly you can sum up what a day in Hel…….I mean, the life of a mommy is like. Numbers 6 – 10 pretty much lay out what my life is like on a daily basis. I’ve even written an entire blog on #7. It’s like a damn rave in there as soon as I sit down.
Regarding #6, I actually said to my daughter today, “Will you please, please, PLEASE get your hands out of my ass?” She is constantly trying to put her hands in my back pockets or down the front of my shirt. She’s obsessed with “boodies” (read: boobies.) This is especially awesome when we have male friends or family members over. EVERYONE has seen my boobs.
Seriously, this is one of my favorites so far and I voted on it. I’m totally going to link it on my blog so hopefully, you’ll be getting many more votes. 🙂 Can’t wait for the next one.
P.S. I think I laughed just as much at the tag under Mr. Wahlberg’s picture as I did the blog.
My favorite is looking at the door while sitting on the can, seeing 6-8 little fingers poking underneath it. AS IF I CAN’T SEE THEM. Or hear them. Ugh. A peaceful poo would be nice every once in a while.
So glad you liked this. The photo caption was for my own entertainment. It is nice to hear that other people find that just as amusing…
This made me chuckle
Glad you liked it!
I know that I couldn’t come up with a list like this if I tried for years! It is spot on & now I feel good knowing that I am kinda, no really, a rock star!!! Awesome post (and who doesn’t love a little Marky Mark ala Rock Star, Mark Wahlberg)!
Reading the comments, maybe you could make it a top 20 list?
Maybe if I get more to add, I can throw more on the list. Got any for me?
Dude. This is seriously one of the funniest things I’ve EVER read. You hit the nail on the head babeh!!!!! OMGosh I HAVE to pass this along to EVERYBODY! Be prepared for an onslaught of readers from seemingly out of nowhere. 😀 And thanks for the (millions of) laughs! And for making me feel so much better about #7. ;D
Thanks for passing this around! I think the biggest compliment I can get is when people share this stuff with friends.
And a *fist bump* of solidarity for being anuthah muthah who can’t poo in peace. Word.
Word to my sistah from anothah mistah. 😉
It’s so true!
…which is why this list wrote itself in my head in about 10 minutes as I changed the sheets on my bed. Which is, as you know, true Rock Star behavior.
This was one of those, “Why didn’t I think about writing that?” posts. So TOTALLY ACCURATE. Loved it and read it out loud to my husband.
Happy to entertain Mr & Mrs Angie on this holiday weekend…
Love it! Stopping by RDC. I completely agree with the “groupies follow you to the bathroom”. That’s definitely part of my daily experience.
Oh, how lovely it would be to pee without small humans pounding on the door…
So clever and hilarious!! I had never thought of it that way but you are spot on! Thanks for the morning laughs!
Anytime, Catherine!
You have outdone yourself with this one. Brilliant. You managed to liken my sloppy, semi-public bathroom using, hit-or-miss showering, annoying cartoon watching, food shaped like characters from annoying cartoon eating life to that of a rock star. Magic.
I’ve always thought you were a rock star, Allison.
Aw, that’s sweet, but only proves that your children have addled your brain.
I’m flicking a lighter right now. It’s a grill lighter and not a bad ass rockstar zippo, but hey, I’ll still wave it in the air for you. You forgot that fans grope your private bits in public places.
Ah, yes!
Mr. T gave me a very awkward leg-hug that ended up in a public groping of my undercarriage today. Good times.
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. I love this post so much I want to buy the concert t-shirt and wear it with my Mom Jeans.
Now you’re just using Sexy Talk. Me likey.
You rock! What more can I say 😉
Lol! Thank you!
Too true, I can’t remember the last time I went to the bathroom alone.
I miss the Good Old Days of just silently walking into a bathroom, quietly relieving myself, then walking back out without interruption….
Want to see how librarians are like rock stars? (I wrote it in library school last year. And I was a mother at the same time. Does that mean I rock twice as hard?!) http://infospace.ischool.syr.edu/2010/04/07/rock-stars-vs-librarians/
Very cute, Shander, thanks for sharing. But I already KNEW librarians were rock stars. 😉 Books! Books! Books!
I think the most glamourous, sexy, and fun part of being a parent has to be the mystery and excitement of wondering every night, “Who’s gonna end up in my bed tonight?” LOL.
MeeOWWWW….uh, oh. Nevermind.
HA! Screaming is just part of the job.
I do most of my screaming into a pillow because my kid is still pretty young, but I get that. I so get that.
Amen, girl. I hear that.
Screaming is totally part of the job–but my screaming, or theirs? Or both? Probably both.
C. All of the above.
What a great analogy! I love the “am I tripping or did I just see that?” analogy. found you at finding the funny.
I have had many times where I simply could not believe my eyes. Oh boy.
Thanks for coming by!
Haha!! This is so true! Love the one about the groupies in the bathroom. So true!
(Thanks for linking this up with us over at #findingthefunny last week!)
Oh, to pee in peace once more….
Sounds so sexy when you put it that way.
suddenly my mom lifestyle seems way more glam. thank you!
You’re welcome!
And if someone insisted there be no brown M&Ms in the candy bowl, you wouldn’t be surprised.
Yep, sounds about right.