Let Me Start By Saying

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The Gift I Found

December 22, 2011 By Kim Bongiorno at LetMeStartBySaying 44 Comments

Many, many days you’ll find me at the kitchen island, a cup of coffee before me as I rub my temples to stave off the headache that two way-too-loud kids are trying to give me.

Every day is an internal battle of my trying to raise them right, keep them in line, not being too hard, not being too soft.

Am I doing more right than wrong?

When will I find out?

Then a moment comes.

Today it was a typical morning: no one’s listening, kids are fighting, I’m chasing down missing red shirts for the Holiday concert, reminding one kid he needs to eat faster than a snail’s pace, trying to pep-talk another into not being too scared of going on stage.

I run upstairs yelling behind me, “Wait downstairs!” and of course find myself being followed by my two shadows into my 6.5yo son’s bedroom.

I’m rummaging through his closet, and what do I see?

I gave them to my 4.5yo daughter, asked why she put her handmade beaded bracelets in there, when my son comes close and whispers in my ear, “I made them for her for Christmas. They are a SURPRISE for her stocking.”

I couldn’t help but pull him to me in a breathless hug.

My daughter immediately dropped them on the floor, squeezed her eyes shut, slapping her palms over her face, and shout-whispered to me, “I didn’t see anything! I didn’t see ANYTHING!  PUT THEM BACK!”

I put the bracelets back where I found them, and pretended nothing happened.

So did they.

My son ran ahead downstairs, and when he was out of earshot my daughter asked me if I could find the bin of beads so she could make him a Christmas surprise, too.

Fighting tears, I squeezed her tight.  “Of course, honey.  Of course.”

On two tiny feet, she pranced away, giddy with her secret plan.

I sat there on the quiet floor of my son’s bedroom, listening to their chatter below me with different ears.

They are good kids.  They love each other.  They understand what it is to give, and what it means to receive.

As the person who’s been trying so hard to teach them these things, wondering and worrying about whether it’s all sinking in…I needed to find those bracelets.

I needed to ruin that surprise for my daughter from my son.

By ruining that surprise, I got to witness my kids be the kind of people who try hard to find a way to fix a ‘ruined surprise’ for each other, with no hard feelings even considered.

Seeing my children show this side of themselves was a gift I never expected.

And I couldn’t be happier with it.

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Comments

  1. Lara says

    December 22, 2011 at 12:23 pm

    … And now I’m crying in this Jewish deli. Lovely story!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 6:57 am

      Thanks. Now get me a bagel toasted with butter.

      Reply
  2. Emma Morgan says

    December 22, 2011 at 12:24 pm

    i love these reminders. i also see them as little glimpses of their true hearts….without the bias of being mom(for good or bad). thank you for sharing a peek into their little souls, and it’s a comfort to know that sometimes what we do sinks in 🙂 good job, mama.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 6:57 am

      Considering how many times a day I repeat things like “Put. Pants. ON!”, it’s nice to know they actually do hear me when I say the important things.

      Reply
  3. Brianne (@BriConstable) says

    December 22, 2011 at 12:35 pm

    So Sweet!! This is one thing I hope to teach Bugs too and its so hard because how do you teach it?! Awesome job momma!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 6:58 am

      That’s the thing! How do we teach our kids these more subtle things?? It’s always a wonder. Thanks.

      Reply
  4. alaskanmamma says

    December 22, 2011 at 12:41 pm

    OMG.. I am so exhausted this morning and have been so sad because of the holidays and this just made me feel all gooey inside! GOOD JOB MOM! Sniffle.. this is AWESOME!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 6:58 am

      Thank you! And I hope today is a happier day for you.

      Reply
  5. Convertible Girl says

    December 22, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    I JUST put on mascara, and NOW you go making me cry. So not cool.

    But a beautiful merry Christmas to you, mama.
    🙂

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 6:59 am

      Sorry! I hate to ruin a good mascara job.
      And a Merry Christmas to you, too.

      Reply
  6. vickylyn28 says

    December 22, 2011 at 12:46 pm

    So sweet. I remember when my daughter was in elementary school (she’s a senior in HS now), that they had a Christmas fair and all the kids were supposed to bring in 5 or 10 dollars so that they could shop for their families without their surprises being ruined.

    There were things like combs and pins and all sorts of little things but she was so proud that she was able to do her Christmas shopping for her whole family on her own and she didn’t want to leave anyone out.

    It really makes your heart swell at moments like that!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 7:00 am

      Love that!
      My kids’ school had one when I was hom recovering from surgery, so 2 friends brought them to it for me. I still haven’t seen what’s in the bag or who they shopped for (apparently it’s a secret!), but I cannot wait to see.

      Reply
  7. Deidra says

    December 22, 2011 at 12:54 pm

    Awww, this made me tear up! I had a really long and exhausting day yesterday with both my kiddos, dentist, haircuts, the mall… They bickered and competed with each other all day long! They continued to bicker when we got home. My day ended with me bypassing the wine and going for the hard liquor! I always feel where’d I go wrong? Why don’t they like each other?? But they do have moments of niceness to each other and it really does warm my heart.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 7:00 am

      Yes yes and yes.

      Reply
  8. BabyKMama says

    December 22, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    Go all choked up, that is so sweet. I have the craziest, ugliest “rocking chair” my brother built for me for my barbies 30+ years ago… I bet he doesn’t even remember it, but I can never bear to throw it away. Kindness, empathy, consideration… you’re doing a wonderful job if your children have their foundation so strongly set.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 7:02 am

      That is so awesome, I got misty.
      My mom has this God-awful table in her livingroom that her stepson made in school not long after she married his dad. He made it specifically for her (ohh….about 40 years ago!) and she keeps it out because it meant so much. So I totally get why you keep your rocking chair!

      Reply
  9. Lady Googoogaga says

    December 22, 2011 at 1:09 pm

    Omg, I could cry and they aren’t even my kids……

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 7:02 am

      Thanks!

      Reply
  10. nailingjellotoatree says

    December 22, 2011 at 1:19 pm

    Well done momma! These are the moments we live for.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 7:03 am

      Absolutely.

      Reply
  11. Abby says

    December 22, 2011 at 1:29 pm

    No words.
    Okay, maybe a couple.
    Ya done good.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 7:03 am

      I hope so. I really do.

      Reply
  12. Vicki says

    December 22, 2011 at 1:32 pm

    I love you blog because it is such an honest look at life and motherhood. Isn’t it nice hat sometimes we get a “emotional present” that makes all the holiday hubbub worth it!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 7:04 am

      It happened last year, too (see my holiday posts page for that “Oh, Brother”). It’s better than anything anyone could put under my tree.

      Reply
  13. lunarharvest says

    December 22, 2011 at 2:08 pm

    This is such a cute story! your children sound sweet 🙂

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 7:04 am

      Oh yeah, they can be when they forget to torture me. And then I just wanna eat them up. 🙂

      Reply
  14. Allison at Motherhood, WTF? says

    December 22, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    This totally made me cry! Well done. This story is so great. I love that he took the time and made her super girly bracelets and love that they both covered up the ruined surprise. Isn’t it nice to have a moment when you don’t have to fret and worry? When you can relax and just KNOW that they’re turning out right? Enjoy it!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 7:06 am

      He must have made these at some people since the hurricane/flooding. Mind you, that bin of beads has been moved countless times since the flood, this place has been a disaster of toys until a few weeks ago when the basement was finally refinished. And even now, the bin of beads is high up on a shelf. I don’t know the when or how, but he did it all on his own and didn’t leave a trace of evidence. I could eat. him. up.
      And her reaction? OMG. I died.

      Reply
  15. Bethanygp says

    December 22, 2011 at 7:22 pm

    What a wonderful, tear-inducing story. You are an excellent mom and you have such sweet kids!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 7:06 am

      Thanks for saying that!

      Reply
  16. Diane T says

    December 22, 2011 at 8:55 pm

    Who would have guessed that the beaded bracelet would end up being the best Christmas gift for YOU?!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 23, 2011 at 7:07 am

      Exactly! I’ll be reminded of how frigging cute these kids are each time I see those bracelets.

      Reply
  17. JD @ Momagement says

    December 23, 2011 at 10:15 am

    That is just precious. I love it when kids do stuff that makes us sigh and say, “I guess I am doing something right after all!”

    My 5yo made a bracelet for her little sister and is also giving her a pair of dress-up earrings of hers because, “Sophia really, really loves them.” Sophia, on the other hand, made a gift at school and insists it’s hers and she’s opening it.

    1 out of 1 ain’t bad, right?

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 27, 2011 at 8:01 pm

      LOL! Husband and I usually only get 50% of the kids acting nice at a time. So this 100% sweetness about the bracelets? Feels like a huge win.

      Reply
  18. The Bearded Iris says

    December 24, 2011 at 9:58 am

    Yep. Crying. Those are some sweet kids you got there. If I were you, I would take FULL CREDIT for that action for the rest of your life.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 29, 2011 at 9:12 am

      That’s the plan, kid. That’s the plan.

      Reply
  19. Jamie Walker (@chosenchaos) says

    December 27, 2011 at 1:13 am

    THAT is the true meaning… what a beautiful blessed story.

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      December 29, 2011 at 9:13 am

      Thank you, it’s now one of my favorite parenting moments. Period.

      Reply
  20. Michelle says

    October 30, 2012 at 12:51 pm

    You’ve gone and done it again. TEARS. POURING. EVERYWHERE.
    I love moments like this 🙂

    Reply

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