I like SpongeBob SquarePants. Yes, some parents roll their eyes when asked, “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?” or visibly cringe at his laugh, but I think he’s pretty great. So I’ve always let my kids watch him. I’ve bought them giant mylar balloons of him for birthdays. I’ve sung along to his […]
Why I Am Okay with My Daughter Being Heartbroken Over a Girl Named Ruby
A little girl named Ruby is breaking my daughter’s heart, and I’m okay with that. Her third grade class is watching the movie Ruby Bridges, the true story of a little African-American girl who integrated an all-white school in New Orleans by herself in 1960, per court order. My daughter and her peers view it […]
The Two Words I Say to My Kids Every Day
It was a cranky morning. I hustled my kids out of bed, into breakfast, into clean clothes, into backpacks, into the car, the whole while on a diatribe of epic proportions about not listening, being late, how they’re old enough to understand what’s expected of them. Blah blah blah. Nag nag nag. I was sick […]
Her Favorite Thing About Hand-Me-Downs
I’ve always seen hand-me-downs as a practical solution. Older kids are done with clothes. Younger kids are about to get bigger and will need new clothes. When my son is ready for the next size up, I pack everything that he has outgrown and bring it to his younger twin cousins the next time I […]
The Treasures They Hold
Most parents spend their days collecting moments. Like multi-tasking beach combers, we keep an eye on the waves crashing towards us as we reach down to grab big, rippled clam shells in perfect form; bits of bleached coral; rare folds of smooth green sea glass; tiny delicate pink shells the size of our fingernails. We […]
A Letter to My Daughter Who I Believe In
Dear Daughter, When we bought our house I was too tired to use tools or do math, so I hired a baby-proofer to run through and make it less likely to give me heart attacks as you and your brother explored its sharp nooks and dangerous crannies. Just to be extra safe, the cabinets under […]
54 Things To Do Before Having Kids
I don’t know whether you’ve ever heard this before, but parenthood changes a few things about your life. Not, like, everything. I mean, you’re still human beings who breathe and stuff after you have some offspring. But preeeetty much everything else changes—at least for a while. As a card-carrying member of the Yep, I Procreated […]
A Calm, Reasoned Argument For and Against Eating Your Cute Fat Baby
The following is based on an actual conversation about eating babies. Don’t act like you haven’t had one of those. Jeff has questions. I have facts. Let’s see where this goes—I’ll let him start. JEFF: Seriously, what the hell is it with you people and eating babies? Look, I like eating and I like kids. […]
31 Days of Summer Fun with Kids
Summer days can be looong when you have kids at home, so I did a bit of research on Pinterest and came up with a 31-day plan to keep us occupied. I think you’ll agree that it is both educational and accurate. Enjoy! From adorable optimism to totally giving up: 31 Days of “Summer Fun” with […]
Homework I Can Actually Help My Kids With
I can’t be the only one who thought she was of at least average intelligence all her life, only to be bitch-slapped with the cold harsh reality of elementary school homework. Once my kids are in middle school? I. Am. Screwed. Like what you see? Subscribe today & follow on Facebook!