There is a violent splatter of pasta sauce on my kitchen ceiling. I have four loads of bath towels and ten sets of bedding to wash. About six of my wedding crystal wine glasses are shattered, sitting in black garbage bags by the curb. The fridge in the garage is chock-full of catering food I […]
Reasons Why My Kid Honestly Believes She Has a Bloody Nose
So we’re driving in the car and my daughter starts to shout, “MOM MOM MOM I HAVE A BLOODY NOSE MOM HELP ME I AM BLEEEEEEEDIIIIING.” I look in the rearview mirror and see no sign of blood or, well, anything, other than a kid leaning her head back insisting I pull over and look […]
How to Entertain Your Kids at the End of Summer
Many of us parents believe that by booking up the first 6 weeks of summer with camps and travel, we’ll be all set entertainment-wise (and sanity-wise). Not. The case. August shows up with a smile on its sunny face and a, “So, whatcha gonna do with them this ENTIRE MONTH?” Here in New Jersey, our […]
Sprayground Hell: What it is really like to take your kids to a sprinkler park
Summer is here and so are the incoming invitations to meet friends at sprinkler parks with the kids. This sounds pretty ideal, right? Gorgeous, giggly kids with sporadically-toothed smiles frolicking in sparkling sprays of refreshing water, as parents stay cool in the shade with iced coffees and wide hats, soaking in the simple joys of […]
All you need to know about spending time at the pool with your kids this summer
The best way to cool off in the summer is to hide in an air-conditioned basement watching everything on Netflix while sipping frozen margaritas as your husband massages your flip-flop-weary feet during the 8 hours your kids are off at camp. Since this isn’t actually going to happen, we all simply turn ourselves into coconut-scented Sherpas […]
I Was Wrong: I AM “That Mom”
Here’s a thing I have actually said: “Oh, I’ll never be that mom.” LOLOL I KNOW, RIGHT? The kind of mom I said I’d never be: The one who doesn’t make her kid home-cooked fresh meals every day. The one who doesn’t send hand-written thank you cards the day after a party. The one who […]
What I Found in His Notebook
A couple years ago, my kids and I took on the project of cleaning my then 8-year-old son’s bedroom. You’d think it’d be a frustrating time of whining and dragging feet, but (shockingly) they both threw themselves into organizing, cleaning, and sorting while I assembled a new bookcase. When I was done and the bookcase was […]
The Most Uncomfortable Dinner Conversation in the History of the World
It was dinnertime one weekend when I was newly settled in my tweenage years, ready to devour whatever Mom put in front of me. My parents began eating, and asked my brother how he spent his day. I’m sure he was up to a variety of things he couldn’t tell our parents or anyone associated […]
As He Prepares to Take Flight
His laughter stopped the clocks. My eight-year-old son was lying on the floor, curving away from my wiggling fingers and the twinkle in my eye as I pretended I wasn’t about to tickle him. He knows me all too well, and the laughter bubbled from his throat as he slithered out of my reach. In […]
The Minivan Courtesy Campaign for Carpooling
To encourage those who commute on buses and trains to have better manners, NYC has implemented their MTA Courtesy Campaign by hanging colorful signs that remind people not to pole dance, give themselves makeovers, or man spread to pass the time. Maybe moms could do the same in their cars for a much more pleasant carpool experience? I’ve […]