After my 5yo’s teacher called me this morning, I had to write an email to a mom at my kids’ school today. Something happened between our kids, and I couldn’t keep my mouth shut. I wasn’t sure what to say, exactly. I didn’t know if I’d express myself as I wanted to. But I knew […]
Hold the Door: Lessons for My Kids
I write a lot of notes to myself: story ideas, grocery lists, wines to try, blog post ideas… But the most important things I haven’t been writing down, are the things I want my kids to learn from me by example. The problem is this: Not only am I not always the most stellar example-maker […]
Her Future Fat Thighs
I was sitting on a toilet, feeling surprised and kind of insulted, when I realized I had an opportunity before me like no other. It began with the need to pee: first my five-year-old daughter, then me. As I was sitting on the toilet and she was washing her hands, still without pants, she declared, […]
How I Made the Kind of Friends You Need While Almost Crapping My Pants in an Elevator. Twice.
What do you get when you mix a tiny throat puncher, a Greek goddess, a foul-mouthed Southern belle, a girl I lovingly call “Beardy” and a vegetarian with an elevator bank? Nothing pretty. That’s what. All we wanted was a free Hot Wheels car. What we got was four elevator trips, three panic attacks, a pair of […]
House Rules: The Complete List (so far)
To my befuddlement, lots of people come here looking for House Rules ideas in order to keep their kids in line. (clearly, these people are not regular readers of the chaos which is my home life) Early last year, I shared the House Rules for kids we keep hung in our kitchen. Let’s just say that since […]
How Being A Parent is Like Being A Rock Star
1. Endless hours on the road with too many people in the vehicle. 2. Your job is to entertain a room full of loud, writhing maniacs. 3. If you do your job well, people ask when you’ll produce more. 4. You ask yourself daily: “Am I tripping? Or did I really just see that?” 5. Your […]
How to Buy a Christmas Tree
Since many of you appreciated my instructions over the summer on how to pick berries with a 3-year-old, I decided to share my most recent seasonal experience with young children. How To Buy A Christmas Tree With A Preschooler & A Kindergartener 1. On the 1st below-30-degree day of the season after 2 weeks of holiday travel […]
How To Pick Berries With A 3-Year-Old
As If I Need Another Reason to Hate Max & Ruby. 1. After months of begging from Child to go to a farm to pick berries and pet animals like she has seen on Max & Ruby, decide it is time to take her for a special treat. 2. Select a farm 45 minutes away. 3. Make […]