I learn a lot from comment threads on the internet. Helpful things, like recipes, books my kids might like to read, how I shouldn’t be a mother. Stuff like that. I figured you might be busy today, so I scrolled through some of the things commenters have said in various comment threads on articles about […]
54 Things To Do Before Having Kids
I don’t know whether you’ve ever heard this before, but parenthood changes a few things about your life. Not, like, everything. I mean, you’re still human beings who breathe and stuff after you have some offspring. But preeeetty much everything else changes—at least for a while. As a card-carrying member of the Yep, I Procreated […]
A Calm, Reasoned Argument For and Against Eating Your Cute Fat Baby
The following is based on an actual conversation about eating babies. Don’t act like you haven’t had one of those. Jeff has questions. I have facts. Let’s see where this goes—I’ll let him start. JEFF: Seriously, what the hell is it with you people and eating babies? Look, I like eating and I like kids. […]
31 Days of Summer Fun with Kids
Summer days can be looong when you have kids at home, so I did a bit of research on Pinterest and came up with a 31-day plan to keep us occupied. I think you’ll agree that it is both educational and accurate. Enjoy! From adorable optimism to totally giving up: 31 Days of “Summer Fun” with […]
Homework I Can Actually Help My Kids With
I can’t be the only one who thought she was of at least average intelligence all her life, only to be bitch-slapped with the cold harsh reality of elementary school homework. Once my kids are in middle school? I. Am. Screwed. Like what you see? Subscribe today & follow on Facebook!
A Message for My Beloved Children Who Insist Their Lives Are Really Really Hard
Dear Beloved Children Who Insist Their Lives Are Really Really Hard, Oh, my sweet pups. You have no idea what you’re talking about. The two of you live with both parents in a lovely home in Suburban New Jersey that has a snack selection that rivals the average Whole Foods store. I was the sixth kid […]
How to Make Homemade Play Dough in 47 Easy Steps
1. Give in to your kid’s request to craft, despite the fact that you’re out of pom pom balls, tongue depressors, pipe cleaners, glue, and googly eyes. 2. Find an idiot-proof homemade play dough recipe by a mom online who seems so much nicer, patient, and more fun than you. 3. Locate and apply smock and […]
How Being a Parent is Like Being a Superhero
Because we’re equally as awesome as the Man of Steel. How being a parent is like being a superhero Click To Tweet Like what you see? Subscribe today! Follow on Facebook and Twitter, too!
House Rules: The Complete List (so far)
To my befuddlement, lots of people come here looking for House Rules ideas in order to keep their kids in line. (clearly, these people are not regular readers of the chaos which is my home life) Early last year, I shared the House Rules for kids we keep hung in our kitchen. Let’s just say that since […]
How Being A Parent is Like Being A Rock Star
1. Endless hours on the road with too many people in the vehicle. 2. Your job is to entertain a room full of loud, writhing maniacs. 3. If you do your job well, people ask when you’ll produce more. 4. You ask yourself daily: “Am I tripping? Or did I really just see that?” 5. Your […]