My favorite holiday growing up was book fair season. Once a year, all would gather in the school library to get our very own new books. I’d run right to my favorite genres and do the math (note: this was the only time I’d be good at math) to ensure I got my every penny’s […]
12 Handy Tips for Parents of Elementary School Kids
Finally! Your kids are older now, sitting in that sweet spot between so little they need you all the time and big enough that you’re the one needing them to STOP GROWING UP AND AWAY SO DAMN FAST, OKAY?? It’s time to start letting go of the reins a bit, learn the best way to balance […]
People Who Should Not Have Kids (According to the Internet This Week)
I learn a lot from comment threads on the internet. Helpful things, like recipes, books my kids might like to read, how I shouldn’t be a mother. Stuff like that. I figured you might be busy today, so I scrolled through some of the things commenters have said in various comment threads on articles about […]
I cannot with these sea sponges
I cannot. I look at this article a few of my friends have shared in horror and my lady biz yells at me, “RUN—DON’T WALK—YOUR EYEBALLS AWAY FROM THAT MADNESS.” A few things came to mind when my brain attempted to process the concept of using sponges for periods. I’d like to share them […]
54 Things To Do Before Having Kids
I don’t know whether you’ve ever heard this before, but parenthood changes a few things about your life. Not, like, everything. I mean, you’re still human beings who breathe and stuff after you have some offspring. But preeeetty much everything else changes—at least for a while. As a card-carrying member of the Yep, I Procreated […]
A Calm, Reasoned Argument For and Against Eating Your Cute Fat Baby
The following is based on an actual conversation about eating babies. Don’t act like you haven’t had one of those. Jeff has questions. I have facts. Let’s see where this goes—I’ll let him start. JEFF: Seriously, what the hell is it with you people and eating babies? Look, I like eating and I like kids. […]
The 10 Facebook Friends You Need to Keep
The term “Facebook friend” is a tricky little phrase, indeed. We accept most of these requests not because we genuinely want to connect with these people whose calls we’ve been dodging, but because it’d be totally awkward to not accept them. This means most of us spend our days rolling our eyes and scanning past […]
31 Days of Summer Fun with Kids
Summer days can be looong when you have kids at home, so I did a bit of research on Pinterest and came up with a 31-day plan to keep us occupied. I think you’ll agree that it is both educational and accurate. Enjoy! From adorable optimism to totally giving up: 31 Days of “Summer Fun” with […]
Homework I Can Actually Help My Kids With
I can’t be the only one who thought she was of at least average intelligence all her life, only to be bitch-slapped with the cold harsh reality of elementary school homework. Once my kids are in middle school? I. Am. Screwed. Like what you see? Subscribe today & follow on Facebook!
A Message for My Beloved Children Who Insist Their Lives Are Really Really Hard
Dear Beloved Children Who Insist Their Lives Are Really Really Hard, Oh, my sweet pups. You have no idea what you’re talking about. The two of you live with both parents in a lovely home in Suburban New Jersey that has a snack selection that rivals the average Whole Foods store. I was the sixth kid […]