This post was sponsored by Luvs.
When you’re planning to become a parent, there is nothing more exciting than obsessing over how wonderful it’s going to be. You can do this! You’re a planner! You’ve seen and/or held actual human children before! This is totally doable!
Then you receive your first package of newborn diapers.
HOW IS THIS MICROSCOPIC THING IN THE PALM OF MY HAND EVEN REAL?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR A HUMAN THAT FITS INTO SOMETHING THIS SMALL?
(No, that’s not even the smallest size diaper)
(Yes, it is very normal to need to breathe into a brown paper bag at this point)
Alas, the panic doesn’t fade once that tiny creature wearing an itty bitty diaper is in your loving arms. You are now a First Time Parent—yes, all capital letters—and You Are Nervous. You want to get everything right, so everything becomes a Very Big Deal.
You don’t just reveal the gender, you REVEAL the gender.
(click to see a LOL-worthy video)
You (quite rightfully, if I’m being honest here) slightly fear the breast pump.
(click to watch the video because her face is EVERYTHING)
You hover during feedings. And, like, everything else.
(LOL I think this is actual video of us 12 years ago)
You drive hairdressers crazy. CRAY. ZAY.
(click for actual chortles)
But don’t worry! The madness will soon fade—especially if you have a second kid (or more). The following not-so-fake Q&A should help you understand the shift that happens. These may or may not be actual things I’ve said/done differently between my first and second kids. Ahem.
How old is your baby?
First-time parent: Six months, two weeks, three days, eights hours, four minutes and twenty-five seconds. Twenty-six. Twenty-seven.
Second-time parent: Uh, that one is from a couple of winters ago, and this one is newer.
Where do you change your baby’s diaper?
First-time parent: Only on properly sanitized designated diaper changing areas, of course.
Second-time parent: I’ve changed them on my lap, mall benches, playground mulch, while on the back of an old horse, the curb, the trunk of my car, so many floors, have asked my older kid to change the baby while I was cooking dinner once—I think she did it somewhere in the house maybe?
How do you hold your baby?
First-time parent: I thoroughly scrub my hands and arms up to the elbow with disinfecting soap, scoop the baby up with both hands and secure him to my chest, then immediately sit on a sturdy structure right away.
Second-time parent: Usually under one arm while on the toilet taking a work call with the other hand.
Do you have a special name for your baby?
First-time parent: She is named after three relatives and the place my husband and I met, so we only allow people to refer to her by her fourteen-syllable-long formal given name. Nicknames are an abomination.
Second-time parent: Do “Hey, you,” “No, that one,” and “Boy child” count as special names?
Wherever you are in the land of raising babies, my guess is you could use a hand. I sure did! My kids came one right after another, the timing so perfect that they never napped at the same time, so I pretty much haven’t slept since 2005. WEEEEEEEEE.
I might not be able to stay awake long enough to give you a free night of babysitting, but what I can do is offer you three free months of Luvs diapers. Not too shabby, right?
LUVS diapers won’t leak, will fit your child comfortably and can save your family money. If you’re an experienced parent who hasn’t tried LUVS diapers, you really need to give them a try! I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Because babies pee and poop a LOT.
If you want me to hook you up, simply use the Rafflecoptor entry system below. There are plenty of options to choose from.
(And don’t worry, I’m sure you’re doing a great job with however many kids you have!)
- No purchase necessary.
- Entries close on Thursday, May 17th, 2018 at 12:00PM EST.
- Open to residents of the Continental United States only.
- One winner will be randomly chosen. If the winner does not respond to attempt to deliver the prize in a timely manner, an alternate winner will be chosen.
- Giveaway is sponsored by Luvs.