The Sandy Hook shooting back in December affected me. I admit it.
I understood what happened right away. I wrote about it that day, and figured I wouldn’t write about it again.
Yet, here I am.
I found myself letting my kids get away with a bit more after the shooting, like I’m sure we all did. A little bit later bedtime. A little more ice cream. A little more playtime.
Then Christmas came, and I couldn’t toss out the old toys just because new ones arrived. How could I take anything from my kids right now?
The guests left, January was quiet again, and I walked into my daughter’s room to see that I had let things go one stuffed animal too far.
I’m sure she’ll fit in there…uhhh…somewhere.
She didn’t need all 40 toys on her bed each night.
My son didn’t need to stay up late reading every night.
They didn’t need to “get away” with stuff because other kids their ages died.
They needed their mom to keep them on the right track. They needed their dad to put his foot down. They needed their parents to be firm about the limits that always had been in place. They needed their routines and boundaries reinforced when they tested them. They needed to hear “No” again.
And their parents needed to know that they can show love and gratefulness and appreciation for every day they have with their kids, while also being firm about the rules and expectations of those kids.
I’ve always been good about this balance, up until the Newtown tragedy. It threw me off my game.
But I’m ready to get back on track, to take the reigns again, and, in sadness and hope, remember that I only get one chance to do right by my kids.
So here I go.
I so understand this! Prior to Sandy Hook, I thought half-birthdays were the worst sign of parental indulgence, now I am full-heartedly celebrating them with my kids, because my world is suddenly filled with one more what-if…
Anna recently posted..Other stuff I wrote last week… and I’m (finally) on Instagram!
Oh it’s so hard to pull the reigns back in isn’t it? But we must remember how to measure love…not by things and breaking rules and spoiling our children- if we love them in that measure, what are we teaching them about love? Love comes with respect, limits, rules, trust, boundaries, and although our love is unconditional… all actions do reap consequences. Oh how they will learn our love in those powerful ways!! In loving memory of those gone, may we teach our children well…
Chris Carter recently posted..Momtor Monthly Post…
I’m guilty of this, too. A dear friend of mine lost a child a couple of years ago, and I just feel like I have had too many reminders of how grateful I should be that my child is alive, healthy, and happy, so I indulge too often. But I need to learn how to say “no”, or she’s in for a rude awakening when she starts school. It’s just hard to find that balance. I’ve already broken so many rules I swore I never would, but I guess that’s parenthood for you – it’s so easy to judge until you have your own. But I’m with you on doing right by my child, so I’m going to need to figure this stuff out.
Awesome post.
Dani Ryan recently posted..The moment you realize you sent an email to the wrong person
I’ve been a bit schizophrenic about my parenting lately. Have fun and play past bedtime – of course, I only get one chance! BVe tough on them about homework and chores – of course, I only have one chance to teach them! I’m currently trying to find the balance.
Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted..Will A Health Scare Change Me?
I hold them tight because I still can.
I indulge them because I still can.
I put work and media aside and play with them because I still can.
I get frustrated with them because I still can.
I say no because I still can.
I will love on them with every fiber of my being because I still can.
Pingback: Summing Up My Week… (02/03/13-02/10/13) | Let Me Start By Saying…