How to Get Laid By Your Wife

Listen fellas, I’ve helped you once before with tips on simple things you can do to get laid by your wife during March Madness.

But I have a lot of friends who are married to men just like you. Funny, handsome, charming fellas who like to make the Oh! Face on a regular basis.

And they talk. A lot.

Apparently, you are not listening to me even when I’m telling you how to get sex.

I’m shocked, really. Oh. So. Shocked. That you aren’t listening to me. 


I like to see everyone getting along. I like to hear that husbands and wives are communicating and in tune with one another and shtooping on a regular basis.

So, Gentlemen, as much as it pains me to have to boss you around again, here’s a list of what NOT to do in order to get laid.

And Ladies? Feel free to print this out and hang this in front of your man’s mirror before he brushes his teeth tomorrow morning.

You’re all very welcome.

Trust me on the Ryan Gosling thing. That shit’s like catnip.

Good luck!

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