I was born watching Star Wars movies. They were like magic to me, especially the Jedis.
I remember thinking to myself during epic battles in the back yard outer space with my brother How wicked mint would it be if I really had Jedi powers?!
Now that I have kids of my own, I realize I have something way cooler than Jedi Powers.
I’m a parent, and I kick Jedi ass.
1. I have multiple light sabers inside my vacuum.
2. I know when people need to poop, even before they do.
3. I saw that. Yes, my back was turned. But I did, and we both know it.
4. There’s ambidextrous, then there’s the ability to spell “Spongebob” to your daughter while stirring spaghetti and catching a ball that got thrown near the stove top with your left hand, tossing it to where it belongs, shoving the cat away from the open oven with one foot and opening a cabinet for some Tupperware with the other all without missing a beat.
5. I can silently summon my child’s attention from across a room and count to 3 with only my eyes in a way that makes him stop doing what he’s doing and slowly back away.
6. I don’t need to wear a cape for people to know I’m awesomely super-powered. They can clearly see it from the fact that I managed to leave the house with two kids before 9am and none of us are still wearing pajamas.
7. I can make a headlamp look sexy while MacGyvering a coffee maker and multi-room fort during a blackout.
I know the power of The Dark Side, and make it my bitch.
What Jedi powers do you have?
Mommy mind trick. Works every time.
ilikebeerandbabies.com recently posted..Fear the Crazy
It’s pretty awesome knowing we’re powerful. Those kids don’t stand a chance.
Does being fluent in toddler AND preschooler count as a power cause I think it’s pretty cool…
Synnove @ Don’t Chew On The Dinner Table! recently posted..A confection of indefatigable sass…
Absolutely.
I had my kids 22 months apart. My older son had a speech delay and my talker was a VERY early talker with an alien-chicken voice. I was The Interpreter for them so long, I am now able to decipher what any small child is saying.
Um. I feel like a million voices cried out and suddenly were silent every time something crashes in the living room?
Jester Quen recently posted..WhyNo WriMo?
Love this! You sure are a Jedi! My favorite Jedi mind trick is making leftovers appear like a freshly cooked meal. Lol
I’m impressed!
Love this, especially the poop one. This morning I predicted what my son was going to ask me after only having said, “Mom?” He was pretty amazed at that.
Kathy at kissing.the.frog recently posted..Television Isn’t All Bad
Poop is so easy, once you have The Force.
According to my 5 year old grandson, I have “adult super-vision”.
I. Love. This.
You should also add, the ability to turn an already kick-ass noun into an even better, kick-ass verb, as in, “MacGyvering”.
Yes!!
A Girl Named Sue recently posted..Shit I’ve Accomplished This Week
Oh hell yes. I adore Star Wars (the original, the new ones, meh.)
According to my kids, my Jedi trick is knowing how to spell anything in my head, and being able to do trading math in my head. Whatevs. It’s really my uncanny ability to make a $5 piece of junk from the Goodwill look like a designer piece and sell it for shoe money.
Julie recently posted..Am I being unreasonable? (AKA another rant)
Junk = Shoe Money = The Force is Strong With You.
You know, for the longest time I thought that I really WAS a Jedi. But how else could you explain that I knew the answer to every question that he asked, drew the best dinosaurs on the face of the planet, turned cartwheels that left him gaping, and made grilled cheese sandwiches that deserved standing ovations?? Apparently I was only a Jedi for the first 5 years of his life as all of those skills mysteriously disappeared the same day that he looked at me and haughtily stated ‘You are NOT a Jedi, mom’…sniffle…
He only THINKS you’re not a Jedi. What matters is that you know you have The Force.
Moms do indeed out-awesome even the Jedi!
Annabelle recently posted..Trifecta: The Year
I can carry a baby on one hip and a laundry basket on the other while deftly avoiding questions about whether or not Santa is real and mopping up spilled apple juice with my sock.
Hollow Tree Ventures recently posted..At Least I’m Not Killing The Environment
Exactly.
You made mommy and trick the synonym for each other
Monica recently posted..vps
You are so right. It’s like us moms have a special Jedi league that is so secretive that even we didn’t know about it really. I mean.. We always knew… But not knew knew, ya know?
First off we should all get bedazzled pimp canes. Because light sabers aren’t being sold mass market as of yet, and I lost my government clearance and the license to carry concealed weaponry back in ’82. And no one will be like “hey that’s a weapon!” At first glance at the pimp cane. They’ll obviously be all “ohhh.. Shiney!”
Or… Maybe my wanting of a bedazzled pimp cane has made me lose sight of the big picture… Or… Something…
Hugs!
Valerie
Valerie recently posted..If I were a bird, I would fly away… And also shit on people in fancy clothes.
I am so asking for a bedazzled pimp cane for Christmas now.
Oh my – yes, so sexy and with true powers to boot! I can find anything, anytime, anywhere and in less than 60 seconds – as long as I am not the person who lost the item in the first place (darn, there is always a catch!).
Yes! My mom could take out any knot, ever: laces, hair, yo-yos.
JEDI mind powers! I have them. I use them. Them I am. Use so much Eldest Spawn is starting to learn to use them on his little sisters…..
Love reading this!!!
Evil Joy recently posted..Two in Double Digits….
A prodigy you have, I see.
Hmm, I’m still working on number 5, my kids know they’re in trouble, they just wear cheeky grins and keep misbehaving.
Ziva recently posted..Grateful
We mothers do channel the Force, don’t we? Thank you for helping me realize that I am very close to being a Jedi Knight- maybe a few more years. Oddly when I was a child, though, I was obsessed with Jabba the Hut – ugh. Glad I got over that!
Hillary recently posted..I’m Thankful for Big Bird
Jabba was pretty bad-ass and knew how to have a good time. I don’t blame you.
Wait, you said wicked AND mint? I thought mint was a Long Island thing.
Suburban Snapshots recently posted..And Names Have Sometimes Hurt Me
Everything was “wicked mint” to my brother and I when we were in the woods fending for ourselves. Good times, good times…
Nice! Here’s to hoping that dads also develop Jedi powers as well (the idea of this makes me very happy)
On a random note, how does posting this article on your blog and on Huffington Post impact SEO? Does it help or hurt your blog traffic?
Oh Tim, I guarantee you have The Force as well. Do not fret!
As far as the double-post, I couldn’t tell you. I only recently was invited to start blogging for HuffPost Parents, and this was the first post they asked to re-post on their site. I’m so tickled about this, I’m not even thinking about SEO or Google juice or any of that. So far everything seems status quo on this end, if that means anything to you?
Congrats on your first post with Huffington Post! I’m glad for you
Tim Chan recently posted..How The Hunger Games Changed my Remembrance Day
Thanks so much, Tim!