I’m Okay to Weigh . . .

What is the ideal weight?

It seems to me that the range of 110-120lbs holds a lot of women’s personal ideal body weight. A Magic Number, of sorts.

And I never understood why.  We all come in different shapes and sizes, and there are millions of us. How could the ideal range be so small?

Over the years, I’ve rarely heard of any woman being really honest and open about her weight. The real number on the scale.

And it confuses me.

What’s the Big Deal?

It’s like some dirty little secret, what we really weigh.

And it’s never the right number.

Just last week, I heard a beautiful friend of mine say near a group of kids, including her daughter, “I need to lose 10 pounds in the next month” because of a trip.

No. No, she doesn’t.

I have also witnessed tangible hate spew from the eyes of many a woman who met a close friend of mine for the first time. She’s thin, naturally, but also is an athlete for health reasons. Yet, I find myself defending her lean physique to jealous women who weigh more than her.

All. The damn. Time.

Why can’t we be more reasonable with our numbers?

Why can’t we be more accepting of other peoples’ numbers?

Over the last 8 years, between 2 pregnancies, stressful times, happy times, medical issues, butt surgery, and everything else, I have traversed the clothes racks from the size 14 section to the size 6. Back and forth. Back and forth.  

And I bet you just had an emotional response to those numbers, thinking it was really big or really small or too much of a range or something else altogether.

Who cares what my sizes were?

Did I love myself any more or less because of the number on my pants or the scale? Did my husband? My kids?

Absolutely not. Why should we?

And how dare we talk about this stuff in front of our kids? How dare we negatively call ourselves fat or ugly or skinny or too short or too whatever in front of our kids, who think we are always, always beautiful?

Why do we want them to start buying the bullshit that we aren’t beautiful just the way we are? That they aren’t beautiful just the way they are?

I do now, for health reasons, know I have a number I need to stay below. Or at least, stick close to.  It’s not for looks. It’s not for vanity.

And it sure as hell ain’t anywhere near 110-125 pounds.

I’m learning that if I can stay just under 160 pounds, my food intake is balanced enough that I’m not re-injuring my butt. I refuse to let the love of second slices of cheesecake cause me to have anal surgery again. No, thank you!

It also seems to be where my asthma is the most controlled.  And my doctors are happy with it, since my family has so much cancer, heart, cholesterol and other issues on their plate. None of us want me to have to deal with any of that.

Are other people taking all of this into consideration when they choose their number, whether it be an “Above This” or “Below This” decision?

Why do we give a shit what the women on TV, movies and celebrity rags say they weigh, or insist is the best weight/size/body shape for everyone?

I just don’t get it.

And I will never, ever be embarrassed to say:

My name is Kim,
and today I weigh 158.4lbs

Will you share your real weight with me right now?

Do you have an “Above This” or “Below This” number?
How did you choose it?

Have your kids said anything about dieting or weight yet, yours or theirs?
What was that experience like?

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  1. Jenn says

    So I liked this blog. I found it through another blog and am kinda late to the party! I will share my real number with you. I weigh 314 lbs. I am morbidly obese and the strange thing is, is I don’t feel all that bad about it. I have always had weight issues and no I am not a super over eater. I exercise semi-regularly, eat a mostly healthy diet, and follow all of my doctors helpful suggestions. I am not depressed and am actually very happy with myself and my life. I have been happily married for nearly 10 years, and have 2 beautiful children. I don’t really dwell on my weight. For health reasons I am considering Gastric Bypass after trying many other doctor supervised weight loss programs. I am only considering this surgery because I want to remain healthy. So far I do not have any obesity related issues, I know however that I probably will in the future and I want to be healthy for myself and my children. I do want to stress that I have never felt badly about my weight, I have been over 200 lbs since high school and I am now in my 30’s. I have always felt beautiful, confident, and have had high self esteem. My ideal weight as proscribed by my doctor is 160, I am 5’9.

  2. says

    I am 48, have had 4 children, and currently weigh about 189 Yep its heavier than is comfortable, and I am working slowly to change that I am actually trying to run on a regular basis.. when I was a teenager I stopped eating.. ( EATING ANYTHING ) and lost about 80lbs weighed like 125 and still thought I was too fat, too ugly, not worthy, etc etc blah blah blah. I am sad that it took me into my 40’s to just accept me for me.. my husband loves and adores me.. as do my kids and it has nothing to do with the fact that I am not a size 4 anymore.. I am a photographer and work with young teenage girls all the time and just about every single one points out to me something they think is wrong with them.. whether it be their weight or their skin or whatever they tell me whats wrong with them and what they dont like and they are all beautiful gorgeous girls.. all of them.. no matter what size they are what shape they are.. it makes me sad that we are always pointing out what we perceive as our flaws to others.. I will never be a size 4 again. I am currently a size 12-14 depending on the clothing and I am finally ok with that.. Yes I want to be healthier.. and am working toward that.. but I am also working toward liking myself for who I am .. wondering why the hell I did not do this when I was 20

  3. says

    2 years late but I’m 5’2″ and weigh 141 and that’s considered slightly overweight for my height. At times I get it in my mind to lose some weight but I love cupcakes and I say that I will always be a little heavy because I refuse to stop eating whatever I want. Any time I start to feel bad about my body, I remind myself what a beautiful, amazing thing it does and how it gets me where I want to go, does all the things I need it to do, isn’t usually in pain, and looks a lot like one a Renoir nude. I love it!
    Eve I ate your damn Apple recently posted..How To Be the Most Awkward Person In the RoomMy Profile

  4. says

    I think I just posted my comment on FB instead of here. In fact, I know I did. Oh well. Anyway, I’m a five foot nothing girl who weighs 146 or so no matter what I do. So, I’m just accepting it. That puts me in a size 8 or 10, depending on the style and cut of clothes.

    Did you blog about the anal surgery? With the IBS etc, I have butt issues, too.

    Are we related?

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