I have plans.
And clearly, thousands of other people do, too.
Some of you see all these blog posts, Facebook updates and Tweets about BlogHer12 and are soaking it up.
The rest of you are all For cripes sake…enough of this BlogHer baloney! Where’s the snark/craft/fashion tip/coupon/writing prompt I came here to see? And does paying for a conference pass take over a blogger’s entire brain for the 14 days surrounding a conference? I WANT MY OLD BLOGGERS BACK.
Friends, please allow me to explain why the blogosphere has gone bananas.
Bloggers like to not look like total asshats while blogging.
We are not born with the ability to write html or know how to make our blog pretty or take great photographs with our really confusing Smartphones.
So we buy a conference pass, a train ticket, a hotel room, and rationally plan to go to a conference to learn.
Then we discover that other bloggers we’ve made friendships with around the country, around the world, will be there. Ones we “know”, and ones we stalk in the least-creepy was possible because Oh My God they are so damned good at what they are doing.
The chance to improve our blogging skills while meeting like-minded people is better than getting handed the keys to a Haagen Dazs truck.
However dear friends, please remember that many of us bloggers are much, MUCH more eloquent behind a laptop than we are in person.
Many of us walk around with one foot in our mouth and the other in a pair of shoes we’ve worn since 1998.
Many of us have anxiety issues, fear social situations, spent the last 7 years in the house changing diapers, and/or are painfully shy.
Which means this will likely be a very heavily anxiety-medicationed group of people.
Since we’re bloggers, we deal with it by talking about it online. Searching for control. Reading packing lists, sharing what we’re wearing, looking at what others have worn in the past. Mapping out the route from the parking garage to the hotel to the closest Starbucks and back.
Obsessing. Holy Chiclets on a Stick OBSESSING.
I’m sure there are a handful of totally cool, savvy bloggers out there who are as smooth in person as they are online. Who don’t worry about their appearance or their manner, because they gots it down. Who are great in social situations, quick at taking notes, never get lost in hotels, and have a radar to find people they know in crowds of 4,000+ people.
I’m not one of them. And I’m fairly certain I’ve yet to meet one of them, either.
I’m aware of how little a fish I am in this big sea. I’m aware that I can experience anxiety, too. So I’m quietly doing what I need to do to help me prepare for this trip.
Mostly, I will not worry about making an ass of myself. I’ve made great friends over the years because I am kind of an ass.
And I will carry lots of gum, pens, notebooks and my cell phone charger. These are the most important things in life and when working, so my goal is to only obsess about these 4 things.
(I like manageable goals. Obviously.)
At the last blogging conference I attended, I was shy and reserved and didn’t hand out all my business cards or introduce myself enough. I worried too much about what other people thought of me. Yes, I learned so much and made a few in-person connections to other bloggers. But I could have done better.
So I will do better this time.
At least, that’s the plan.
Please pack your Baby Bjorn and carry me in it the entire time. Hold me, I’m scared.
I cracked up over this – you are going to get squeezed to death in a few short days!
Cheers…and don’t forget the Valium!
DG
You will look adorable in my Bjorn. Really.
I have to admit that as someone who isn’t going, I’m in the “For cripes sake…enough of this BlogHer baloney!” camp. I’ve already decided I have to add the #blogher12 to all of my tweets regardless of what they’re about, simply to stay on the map for a millisecond. But I get it. I’m jealous. While I’m not overly social in person, I would be extremely excited to attend and meet so many people I respect and enjoy.
However, because I’m not going I feel like I’m totally left out and that all the cool kids are doing awesome things and will forget all about me the second they get back, that I’m missing all these GREAT opportunities to write and get published somewhere. But I’ll get over it and live vicariously through those who are there. I’m not whiny–just being honest
Have SO much fun and I admit, I can’t wait for your recap most of all.
Abby recently posted..Waterlogged
I remember last year (and the year before) wondering WTF all the fuss was about…and feeling totally out of the loop.
Lemme tell you this: even GOING to the conference, there is the ability to feel out of the loop, still. It can be as nuts as you want it to be. Teetering on overwhelming.
I do look forward to meeting/listening to so many people that I truly respect. That part is so exciting. and the learning. I am such a nerd, but LEARNING makes me giddy.
I don’t think any earth-shattering opportunities will open up for me this weekend. But I do think I’ll have some Ah-ha! moments, some points of clarity, and likely make a few new friends. I think over time I’ll feel its effects, so we’ll see that will be. I have no idea what it’ll be, but I know it will be something.
I will just concentrate on gum. That’s all I can do. Now I am obsessing about anyone at the Hilton who is not there for Blogher. So I guess I will obsess about that. Cuz I’m codependent.
Christie Tate recently posted..If You Are Thinking Any of These 5 Things During Magic Mike, You Should Look For Your Libido
Now you’ve got me wondering. Who else will be at the hotel? Will they be completely befuddled by the tweeting masses of women there that weekend?
If you run low on gum, just find me. I’ll have plenty.
Shit! I knew I forgot something on my spreadsheet – gum!! Thanks for helping me out. I am looking forward to this weekend and I’m bringing 3,000 business cards and I plan to get rid of all of them – so watch out for awkward bathroom assaults from me. “Hi! Do you need something to read while you’re in there? Here’s my card!”
Jen at PIWTPITT.com recently posted..Weekly Wrap Up 7.28.12
Please take me with you on all your bathroom breaks. That would be the best thing. Ever.
Oh God, I need to buy gum. And a portable phone charger thingy. And comfy shoes that aren’t 10 years old. And valium.
@Abby, take my ticket! Please. I’d much rather stay home in my “BITE ME” t-shirt with my boobs curled up on my lap like two sleeping kittens.
Kim – this is a GREAT post and a good reminder that we are probably being really annoying to our non-blogging readers. Thank you!
Leslie @ The Bearded Iris recently posted..ERMAHGERD: The Preparing for BlogHer’12 Edition
I’m wearing old comfy shoes, because people will be staring at my rack (fine, actually my badge that covers my rack), not my feet.
I remember feeling soooooo out of the loop the past 2 years I was aware of BlogHer but not there. This post is me kind of begging them for patience, and begging other bloggers for mercy.
good luck Kim. I’m with Abby but hope you have fun and take pictures so I can finally see your whole face.
do me a favor. Don;t flash mob dance or touch anyone’s boob on camera. Do anything else ridiculous or absurd but those two things are overdone and lame.
I look forward to what you have to write about your experiences.
Lance recently posted..She’s So Mean
I have a feeling my Mystery Factor will be over soon enough, since people get camera-crazy at events like this. You may just get your wish.
The only flash mob I’d be a part of would have to include free cupcakes or wine. Then I make no promises to you about staying away. Sorry.
I look forward to seeing what I get out of this. I’m excited, since I just don’t know yet what that will be for sure…
Thanks for this post! I completely feel the same way, about stumbling over my words in real life, as opposed to writing about it on my blog.
As a seasoned BlogHer attendee, I’m still nervous about going for just those reasons. I’m just not extroverted, but at least there’s already common ground with the other attendees–our blogs. Hope to see you there!
Kathleen recently posted..Christmas Cookies and the Art of Faking It
We all stumble over our words, and that’s totally okay. Show me a blogger who never used Spell Check or edits her/his post 10x before publishing it, and I’ll show you a big fat liar.
Look out for me: I’ll be the giant pale blonde in glasses with all the gum.
You are so brave! I went to Blog Her NYC a few years ago and still haven’t recovered. Because, as you said, I’m a lot braver, funnier and more sociable behind my computer than I am in person. I spent most of the time cowering in my room in fear.
Good for you for giving it another try! I’m sure you’ll have a good time.
TheKitchenWitch recently posted..Raspberry Beret
I was secretly hoping you’d be there, because I have a hunch we’d hit to off. In a corner. Chewing gum.
But alas, I will brave it without you. I have a gang of covert operators keeping me company, so hopefully they will keep me sane. Or need me to keep them sane, so I’ll have no choice but to stick around.
I’m not bringing gum, but I am bringing Tic Tacs. And flavored vodka.
thoughtsappear recently posted..BlogHer in T-Minus 3…2…
Tic Tacs AND flavored vodka? Now I’m definitely hunting you down.
What a breath of fresh air to read this. When I signed up for Blog Her, I though I was singing up for a conference where I could get somewhat of a clue as to how to blog. But THEN I saw all the stuff going back and forth about this HUGE conference. Suddenly, it’s this major social event and I started to feel majorly intimidated!
So, I’m remaining myself of my goals: to learn something I didn’t know before, to meet in person some of the women I’ve met online and to NOT feel pressured.
Thanks for your advice, as always, my friend!
Thanks for this post.
Steph at The Healthy Mom recently posted..Shop Wisely for Food. Make Healthier Choices.
I sat down to post a funnier post this morning, which was all done & all I needed to do was hit “publish”. Then this came out of me. So I had to publish this, instead.
See you soon!
I’m glad I did.
I have planned nothing. NOTHING. Except for exchanging numbers with people and hoping I’ll remember that I’m supposed to be meeting them instead of giving myself a pep talk in the bathroom mirror.
See you there!
But if you need a bathroom mirror pep talk, I’ll hold you hand.
I’m jealous b/c I won’t be there–and in awe b/c I am too chicken to go even if I found a way to get there! Have a blast
Meredith recently posted..Babies ‘R Us: The Monday Review
I think the nice thing is that there’s enough people there who understand how anxious others get, that there will be lots of hand-holding. Hopefully you can go to the next one! (if huge ones overwhelm you, I HIGHLY recommend Bloggy Boot Camp by the SITS Girls)
I’m jealous because I live on the other side of the World and sooooooo want to be there. It seems like all my favourite bloggers are going and are all going to meet up and become BFFs and be the cool group that I’ll always be watching from the sidelines and then I’ll become this crazy stalking lady trying to copy everything they do in the hopes that I’ll be cool, but I’ll just end up being the weird person that everybody avoids.
Have a great time all of you
Wub Boo Mummy recently posted..Ermahgerd, jurst ermahgerd
Darling, if you were on this side of the globe? We would Tear. Shit. UP.
Gum…get gum. While I’m excited as all get-out to see all of you “big fish”, I can’t wait to get learned on the hundred or so things I don’t get yet about this blogging thing.
Thanks for a very encouraging post to us first-timers!
Missy recently posted..You Know That Moment When?
Gum. Gum. Gum.
My 1st conference was a SITS Girls Bloggy Boot Camp and it was both awesome and overwhelming. There was SO MUCH I didn’t know about. I still look over the notebook I brought that day. I’m excited to see what I learn this weekend. Have fun!!
You’ll be great! Have a blast, learn a lot, live to tell the tale – remember, some of us are counting on living vacariously through you!
hollow tree ventures recently posted..Momolympics
I Pinky Swear to have plenty of fun. In honor of you.
“I’m sure there are a handful of totally cool, savvy bloggers out there who are as smooth in person as they are online … Who are great in social situations … I’m not one of them.”
Um, hello? You don’t give yourself enough credit! THAT WAS SO YOU at Bloggy Boot Camp. At least, that’s what you projected! And if you made an ass of yourself, it just made me love you more.
Can’t wait to see you!!!!
JD @ Honest Mom recently posted..8 Must-Pack Things for a Conference (That Aren’t Totally Obvious)
Looks can be deceiving, my dear. I was a MESS of anxiety that day.
Just don’t look behind the curtain.
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