I took the kids to the pool by myself this week, and actually managed not to have a heart attack.
This is a big deal for me.
All day, knowing it was going to happen, anxiety rose in the my throat, but I told it, “Back off, bitch. This is what normal people do in the summer.”
Most people have been taking their kids to the pool and the beach for 2 months now. Not me. My stupid anxiety kicks in when I think about bringing my kids near water, especially since I am outnumbered by them and know what it feels like to be a kid who almost drowned.
Then my friend suggested we meet at our gym’s pool after lunch.
I couldn’t avoid it anymore.
I didn’t want to avoid it anymore.
On the way there I drove white-knuckled and tense, running through The Rules with my sun-blocked, bathing-suited kids.
(If I was going to do something totally against my grain, I was going to prepare for it as much as possible in the comfort of my own home.)
I walked the kids right in, we found our friends, and grabbed some chairs.
Then into the water we went.
And it was…nice.
The deepest part of the kid section isn’t too deep for my 7yo to stand on his tippy toes, and there happened to be a dark line in the pool tiles where it would begin to get too deep for my 5yo (who happily wore her big brother’s old Spiderman swimmy bubble vest thingy).
Albino Me was slathered 3 inches deep in SPF, skirt on, hat on, protecting all the bits and pieces that fear sunshine.
My friend and I waded around between our kids, chatting and catching up, as they played and laughed and had splashy fun.
They even handled the 10-minute mandatory breaks at every hour with (mostly) ease.
It was like I was there with someone else’s kids.
Last year, my son clung to me whining whenever his face got so much as a molecule of water on it, while my daughter tried to sprint towards the Deep End of Doom.
It was constant fighting between them, then their running in opposite directions, Time Outs by me, and my voice screeching across the water.
What a difference a year makes.
My kids reminded me that they’re growing up. They can handle things better now. They can enjoy things that were awful for them AND me last time we tried them. They can make experiences I have consistently dreaded, not so terrible anymore.
They reminded me that as they get older, they’re getting more and more fun.
And once I unclench from my anxious stupor, I’m a little more fun, too.
This is a pretty awesome discovery.
So it looks like in addition to my sun block, giant hat, supportive tankini and breezy cover-up, I’ll also be wearing a smile to the pool this summer. A little something extra that I don’t even need to figure out how to fit in into my overstuffed gym bag. Sweet.
Very, very sweet.
I totally had this exact realization at the pool this summer, too. Last summer was stressful, worrying about my (then) 2.5yo getting overzealous about too-deep water and my 5yo freaking about water in her eyes.
This summer? It’s heaven. HEAVEN, I tell you. The kids swim. I watch with my friends. We hang out and chat and get tan. It is pure awesomeness. The best reward ever for putting up with my kids’ crap all day long, all winter long – all LIFE long!!!
JD @ Honest Mom recently posted..I Have Discovered the Secret to Homemade Iced Mocha!
It really was a turning point, one of those moments of clarity. SO much better.
This summer the pool has been pretty stressful for me. The older boys want to wander farther than they have previously, and now I have a one year old who knows no fear. I wish I could just sit and chat and get tan, but I seem to be too busy chasing everyone around. Does that count as cardio?
Glad you had a fun time at the pool!
Kathy at kissing the frog recently posted..Summer Camp: Hard on Mom
Definitely counts as cardio! I gave up all dreams of sitting poolside until my kids have moved out, or I’m on vacation without them.
Yay you and enjoyable swim time! I’m spared the pressure to take solo pool trips with the kids since we don’t have a public pool here, and my antisocial behavior has ensured that we don’t make friends with any pool owners. Mission accomplished.
Hollow Tree Ventures recently posted..The 7 Stages of Putting Baby Back To Sleep
You’re so crafty! We have family with a pool, and I never visit because it is so stressful…an open pool gate = Kim Heart Palpitations.
ME TOO! My youngest is 5 too and he JUST figured out about a week ago that he likes the water now. PRAISE BABY JESUS. So now I can do what all the other moms in my n’hood do and get shit faced and text instead of watching my kids in the water, right?
And so happy for you that it was a good experience! Great post, Kim.
Leslie @ The Bearded Iris recently posted..How to Find Great Hotel Deals with DealAngel
Thanks, Leslie! They start swim lessons in a couple weeks, so we’ll see if that scars them into hating water again. But for now, I’ll enjoy what I can. While I can. There’s a 36.8% chance that this joy will be very short-lived.
This year I’m again attempting to teach my 6yr old to swim without his life vest, and with the temps so high, we’ve been in the pool a lot. I’ve always been a swimmer, so I have no anxieties about it. However, I get a little frustrated by his fear of learning. He says he wants nothing to do with swimming without his life vest. Pictures of him as an adult swimming with a Cars life vest flash through my head LOL. I know he’ll eventually just get it, but right now it’s another huge milestone to conquer.
Happy to hear you are able to enjoy the summer by the pool
L.J. Kentowski recently posted..Blank Screenitis
Milestones, milestones…they are so damn exhausting. But at least they do eventually come, right? He won’t need Cars 24 life vest in college…right??
Oy, I sure hope not! LOL
L.J. Kentowski recently posted..Blank Screenitis
*fingers crossed*
Yay for you!! I totally understand! I think I’m going to be anxiety ridden for at least another year. I so want to have that realization that you just had, but I’m out numbered 3 to 1, ages 2, 3, and 4. I get anxious just thinking about taking them to the store, let alone *gasp* water! Maybe next year. Maybe.
Going to the store with them never. ends. well. Which is why going to the pool has been such an obstacle for me. Your time will come soon!
Yay hurray! The pool is a GODSEND for us what with the no-TV edict my daughter STILL has in effect. She used to could handle at least crappy PBS shows, but she can’t even take those right now, and it’s been the MOM CHANNEL all summer! Thank God for swimming!
Jester Queen recently posted..Mocafe Matcha Green Tea Sour Cream Cake
Swimming is WAY more exhausting than TV-watching, so she might be onto something there.
HUGE milestone when your kids can be more or less independent in the pool. I praised the Heavens when it happened for us. Suddenly, the pool isn’t complete torture.
TheKitchenWitch recently posted..Betrayal
It is still a bit unnerving, but not torturous. WHich is a step (splash?) in the right direction. Finally.
Time for swim lessons!
On it! They start in 2 weeks.
This was so lovely to read. Enjoy your new freedom! Congratulations for “crossing over”. Summer!
Bethany @ Bad Parenting Moments recently posted..Hello? Is it Keys You’re Looking For?
Thanks, Bethany!
You might come out of this whole child rearing thing with a life! I’m so glad you had a wonderful experience at the pool. I understand how freeing this is. I live near the beach and my friends want to go, but I have three children who race toward the waves with no regard for personal safety or well being. (See? There is a downside to teaching your kids to be comfortable in the water.) What is relaxing and fun for my friends is my most stressful nightmare. Thankfully, for now the pool is a good compromise.
I love when parents of 1 kid say they don’t get what the big deal about going to the beach is. SIGH.
I remember that summer! And the good news: it gets even better! Their skills and physical ability improve, and before you know it, you’re reading a book in a chaise lounge peeking up at them from time to time. In between re-applying sunscreen every hour, of course!
The Lucky Mom recently posted..Finding my lost perspective.
Reading a book at the pool is something I fantasize about…I…I can’t even THINK about it now, it seems so far away.
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That does sound like a pretty awesome discovery. How great to be in a place where you can really enjoy your kids!
Annabelle recently posted..Impulse Control Problems
I was very happily surprised.