I thought I’d have the summer off from organized sports.
It seems I simply can’t escape them, no matter how hard I try.
How Being a Parent is Like Being a Referee
1. The uniform is universally unflattering.
Not only do the pants never fit quite right, but we all show up wearing the exact same thing every time we get together. SO embarrassing.
2. There are always (ALWAYS) Time Outs.
3. Every decision gets replayed and judged by others over and over again.
4. If someone kicks the wrong ball, you have no choice but to show your red card and throw him from the game.
Young man, you KNOW that’s NOT what a soccer ball looks like!
5. You can’t take your eyes off the team for a second, or someone’s getting a hockey stick to the head.
6. The players think you’re either completely fair or a total idiot, which changes on a call-by-call basis.
7. You’re supposed to always appear calm and reasonable, even when your blood pressure makes that vein in your forehead bulge out like an errant thumb.
8. Sometimes the only way to get everyone’s attention is to blow a whistle.
9. You need to always be one step ahead, or your ass is going down.
Always keep your eye on the ball. And on the unruly children playing closer to you than you think.
Haha! You should do this one on Britely!
Jester Queen recently posted..Long time coming
I’ll add it to the list!
Crap, I’m supposed to appear calm and reasonable?
Sanstrousers recently posted..Permission To Feel
It’s listed in the fine print, which we’re too distracted to ever get around to reading…so no one will hold it against you.
one major difference that plays in your favor. If you miss a call/screw up…..they’re no booing and public outcry.
funny as always miss kim
Lance recently posted..Bouncing Off The Walls
Your kids don’t boo you? Hm. I may be doing something wrong, then…
Sing it because you nailed the funny on the head or, I guess really, in the balls. Loved this: “You need to always be one step ahead, or your ass is going down.” So true. They will turn on you like a pack of Packers. Ellen
Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms recently posted..Fifty Shades of Neutral
Oh, I’ve been flattened by the peanut pack. For real.
#10 You are grossly/ underpaid.
JD @ Honest Mom recently posted..I Have Discovered the Secret to Homemade Iced Mocha!
Hells-to-the-yeah.