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The kitten is crazy. My kids are crazier.
Things got even stranger around here.
<– That is a button you can click for past Things I Said
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So you’re saying your sister asked to be locked in the cat carrier…?
I’m not saying it’s a BAD idea, I’m just saying it’s probably kind of illegal.
If either of you fall down those stairs, you’re in BIG trouble.
You’re doing great. Just don’t stab yourself in the face.
He’s not actually your baby, and either way? You’re not supposed to strangle him.
If kittens would just learn the commands “Sit” and “Stay”, this wouldn’t happen.
If you find it in your shoe, you DO NOT EAT IT.
Before you answer me, do you understand that I can see exactly what you’re doing?
Is that a love note to the kitten? Would you hurt him if you didn’t want to marry him? Do you understand this is a strange thing to even think of?
Crazy Cat Lady in the making, party of one?
(During a playdate) I do NOT want to see a SINGLE penis or tushie down here!
Can you please stop drinking the sauce? Especially in public?
It’s always good to teach 5yo’s to stay off the sauce.
And now for some readers’ Things I Said:
“No I wasn’t aware how many barnacles a whale has on its butt” – Vanessa Morgan
“Your brother’s crack is not a credit card swiper” – VWLizard
“Did you just lick dog poo?” – Chrissie Blair Johnson
“Take your quesadilla out of the dustpan” – Monica Dahl
“Just because I am lean in the waist and young in the face, does NOT mean I am young. I am old and you are bothering the “*: outta me.” – Nina Angela McKissock
What are some crazy things you had to say to the kids lately?
Add your own crazy quotes here for now…
And during the week, if you have your own “Things I Said”, Tweet it to me on Twitter at @LetMeStart with the hashtag #ThingsISaid. I’ll share it with all my tweeps.
Glanced into the bathroom while my newly potty trained son was supposed to be peeing and said “We DO NOT put our penis on the wall!!”
This is a rule in our house, too. Lots of Penis Rules around here.
I had a bad habit of saying to my child. “Don’t Let Me See You Do That Again.” until she told me,
“If you don’t want to see me do it then leave the room. It is annoying that you don’t want to see me do something but you stick around to tell me about it.”
Everyone said that our three years in the United Kingdom would be great for her academically. They did not tell me that she would come back with a degree is smart ***
Cynthia recently posted..You Are Never Too Old
I think my 5yo got a degree in SmartAss. A MASTERS. (AssMastery: This is what their business cards should say)
That’s hilarious that she tried to put the baby in the cat carrier, but the item I truly love is the letter to the cat she almost strangled. That’s good stuff.
TheKitchenWitch recently posted..Cats I Have Known
It’s good to write love letters to kittens to try to strangle. Clears the air.
If you can see the dog’s penis, then you are too close. MOVE IT.
No.
YOUR BODY. Move YOUR BODY.
Jester Queen recently posted..Desk Job
Awesome and horrifying.
Nicole Leigh Shaw/Ninja Mom recently posted..I’m a mom, but I play a lady in the parking lot.
Such is my life.
Ohhhh NO.
I think your “things I said” posts are my favorites. I particularly love the letter!
Annabelle recently posted..Dear Purveyors and Procurers of Fireworks
Thanks! I need to be better about doing them more regularly. (Unfortunately) there is always, always fresh (horrifying) material for them.
Don’t take a picture of your brother’s butt!
Sanstrousers recently posted..Crazy, But That’s How It Goes
Or at least delete it very quickly. Please.
Tip of the day, buddy, don’t smash your face….what did I just tell you???
Domesticated Gal recently posted..Limping Towards Maturity
My 5yo smacks herself in the head to prove it doesn’t hurt. I’m not counting on an academic scholarship with that one.
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