1. Holy shizzballs, that dude with the jacked up teeth and 2 first names can DANCE.
Tanning Chatum? Tatum Channing? Chandler Bing? Ahhh! Who cares. Just take your pants off and start dancing, bitch.
2. In a closed theater full of perimenopausal women, you can actually smell the aroma of hormone replacement therapy creams after about 15 minutes.
3. This is the very best part of the male anatomy EVER:
And most women I surveyed tonight agreed. It was all very scientific.
4. BJ jokes are always, always funny.
5. Seeing someone begin a BJ on a 20 foot movie screen while sitting near a woman who looks like your grandmother is actually kind of awkward.
6. Ken dolls are the least sexy thing ever. Matt Bomer dressed like a Ken doll can make a theater full of women rip off their panties and toss them at the screen.
I could so easily make a very naughty limerick about Matt Bomer’s name right now, but I will take the high road. For once. (Please be impressed)
7. Don’t do drugs. Or sell them. Or store them in your thong while working a gig.
8. Even seeing Matthew McConaughey in nothing but a leather string at his physical peak doesn’t do it for me. I can’t stop thinking that he likely smells of patchouli and bad decisions.
9. Handsome, tanned, sweaty, muscular men dancing for me are okay in my book.
(Ignore the guy all the way to the right. And stop looking at my boyfriend next to him.)
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The eye candy alone in this movie is enough to see it – who cares about a story with that many sexy men making those moves?? YUMMY!!
There was a story???
I saw this with my mother in law, it was hilarious! I was never really into abs but after that movie… and OMG Joe Man-jello! I can honestly say if I ever met him in real life I would giggle awkwardly and stare at his chest like a creeper.
I laughed almost the whole movie. And swooned when Joe had no shirt on. And ate candy. Good times…
Your restraint was admirable. But should you weaken and compose that limerick, send me a message, mmmkay?
I could watch this movie every day and still drool over Matthew and Channing. If I could have both of them in a room alone, naked… Mmmm mmmm mmmm!