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My kids are weird.
That is all.
<– That is a button you can click for past Things I Said
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How did you not notice you were wearing 2 pairs of underwear all day?
We’re not talking about vulvas or penises at the breakfast table. Lemme finish my coffee first.
Just don’t tell Daddy what’s been in this mixing bowl, okay?
How is it possible that my 5yo gets to soak her feet in flowery water and i don't?
You: watch where you’re peeing. You: don’t watch him peeing.
If you don’t mind looking like a crazy tutu-wearing person at school, I don’t mind it either. But no dancing. You hear me?
I hope you realize it will be virtually impossible to pee in less than 15 minutes with all this on.
Get your nose out of my tushie.
I don’t think the issue is sizing. I think the issue is that most balloons don’t actually wear diapers, honey. Maybe we can diaper something else to be your baby today?
Good God that balloon looks pleased that I use cloth diapers.
FINE, yes, they are adorable. My adorable…grandbabies.
Of all the kids to deliver TWIN balloon babies, it had to be mine.
We need to leave Target right now, before I leave YOU in the Lost & Found. Yes, both of you.
Get your vulva off my throw pillow.
Good Morning, uh….what…ever you…are?
What happens when stretchy pillow cases happen to weird kids? This.
What are some crazy things you had to say to the kids lately?
Add your own crazy quotes here for now…
And during the week, if you have your own “Things I Said”, Tweet it to me on Twitter at @LetMeStart with the hashtag #ThingsISaid. I’ll share it with my tweeps, too.
“Go invade Daddy’s personal space for awhile, OK?”
Me: Stop lunging at me, I did not raise a werewolf.
Sam: Yes you did.
Me: OK, yes, I did, but I took him to the farm and gave him to your Nanny. YOU are my son, so quit with the near pounces.
Jester Queen recently posted..Walking
I sick my kids on my husband, too. Poor guy. Never knows it’s coming until it’s too late.
Am I the only one that has ever said “Stop doing that or you are gonna poop your pants!”??
I had to make my son go in the bathroom today. So, no. No, you’re not.
” we don’t put our face on the dogs genitals”
That’s a pretty good rule to abide by.
‘you really make me hate my own voice, you would think you would just do what I asked”
” who said it was okay for you to wipe your own butt?”
lol! My voice gets worn out some days, I swear.
am I the only one who has ever said “Now stop! the three of you are making me sound like one of those mothers in Walmart!”?
kinda close to Laura’s
I use the “one of those mother’s” line a lot when we’re in public. Which, um, might mean…I’m actually One Of Those Mothers. Oh poop.
“That pitchfork is not a toy!”
Sanstrousers recently posted..And So It Begins.
Hell, yeah, it is!
Please pee on the big rose bush.
Stop, not touching him.
Me, “please use your spoon.”
3yr old, “But sometimes the silverware gets lonely and today it’s the forks turn.” Me ” Forks don’t have feelings, use your spoon.”
I really will sell you all on eBay!
But I thought forks DID have feelings? It was the spoon that was heartless, right??
5yo (peeking down while on the toilet): “I can see my anus at work.”
And working, it was.
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