Let Me Start By Saying

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Yet Again, I Show Strangers My Ass

May 8, 2012 By Kim Bongiorno at LetMeStartBySaying 52 Comments

A bunch of people saw my ass yesterday.

You’d think I’d be used to this by now.

But(t), usually when people see my ass I know it is about to happen.

Yesterday morning, I heard a rip. I saw a little hole in the crotch of my linen pants. Meh, it’s not like I do split-leaps on school property when I pick my Preschooler up before lunch, so I just wore them there since I was running a little late.

When I got home, I noticed something a bit…drafty.

And realized that none of the approximately TWENTY adults I saw at pick-up yesterday felt the need to tell me that my ass was clearly visible through the holes in my pants.

Anyone else feel that breeze?

EXHIBIT A for my Exposed Asscrack.

EXHIBIT B for my Bright White Buttcheek.

Mind you, my usual gaggle of girlfriends happened to not be at pickup today. I know I can reply on them to point out stuff like this.

But the rest of the parents in my kid’s class were. As were the parents of the other class who comes out the same door.

And nobody told me everybody could see my ass.

This, to me, is just like the old Spinach-In-The-Teeth Dilemma.

So, tell me, if you saw a woman with half her Back Door hanging out due to Holey Pants, would you tell her so she can hide it?  Or would you stay quiet?

I’d tell her. I HAVE told people about TP on their shoe, food in teeth, exposed tags from skirts & shirts, unidentifiable debris on their face, embarrassing bits that can easily be fixed or hidden.  I am discreet and quick about it.

Are you a Teller or a Too-Embarrassed-To-Teller?

Would you have pointed out my exposed ass yesterday?

PS When I told my husband this & showed him the pants? He smiled and said “That is GREAT.”  Sigh….and here I thought I’d get some sympathy.

~~

Know what would make me feel better about my ass exposure?
Chatting with you on Thursday Night’s Twitter Party about Motherhood.  Giving you a $250 SpaFinder gift card or $50 Amazon gift card.

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<– CLICK THAT BUTTON. 
Enter to win a $250 SpaFinder.com GiftCard
Join our Twitter Party on 5/10 to win $50 Amazon GiftCards

 

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  1. Jenn says

    May 8, 2012 at 10:44 pm

    Have you ever told a guy his ass crack was visible because his pants were too low and his boxers weren’t doing the job? Probably not, because you assumed he WANTED to look like a degenerate and have the world see his crack (If you actually HAVE said something to one of these guys…GO YOU!!)
    With all the crazy clothes people wear these days, I’d probably just assume you were starting your own trend or “making a statement” or something. Hence I would refrain from saying anything because I wouldn’t want to offend your odd sense of fashion. Unless we were close friends and I knew better, of course. 😉
    Funny stuff! Now go buy some new pants… LOL
    Jenn recently posted..My Memories & the Eiffel "Cow"erMy Profile

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      May 9, 2012 at 10:15 am

      This is a good point. I guess I figure that they can feel the obvious breeze from untorn pants?
      I already ordered a pair of jeans. Now to shake these kids off me and go find new linen pants!

      Reply
  2. just keep swimming says

    May 9, 2012 at 2:47 am

    A sister needs to be told. Period. If it’s a trend and we’re ignorant, you’ll let us know. (Unless you’re trying to punish our naivete about said new trend)
    just keep swimming recently posted..How Ball Wins at PokerMy Profile

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      May 9, 2012 at 10:15 am

      Maybe I’m an old fart, but I reallyreallyreally hope no trend where you show our asscracks and buttcheeks begins here in Suburbia. Please, just NO.

      Reply
  3. JD @ Honest Mom says

    May 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

    I can’t imagine NOT telling a fellow mom that she was walking around with a hole in her pants’ backside! Or TP stuck to her. Or her skirt tucked into her undies. You gotta have each others’ backs. And butts!

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      May 11, 2012 at 10:23 am

      Exactly!
      I figured you’d be appalled that no one told me. I know I can depend on you.

      Reply
  4. sparkling74 says

    May 20, 2012 at 8:21 pm

    I can’t do it. I just can’t tell people. Instead, I die a little inside for them, but I can’t tell them. And with holes in EVERYTHING these days, I would think it was the fashion and I’d be busy judging you for trying to be fashionable . I have had this same dilemma of late. Mysterious holes in the inner thigh/crotch area that I dont’ even realize until I happen to be on the toilet and realize I am seeing the floor through my pants! I always think I might be able to get just ONE MORE wear…..
    sparkling74 recently posted..Project Runway Wants Me NowMy Profile

    Reply
    • Let Me Start By Saying says

      May 20, 2012 at 9:23 pm

      I guess I’ve been so concerned about looking out for unintentional holes in my own pants, that I had no idea that it was becoming trendy to intentionally have holes in the rest of your clothes. WHO DECIDED THIS!?
      So, maybe I should just say I’m being really trendy, the next time my crotch explodes and people can see my underpants?

      Reply
  5. Lloyd says

    November 8, 2012 at 5:56 pm

    I’d keep it to myself, presuming this was laundry day for you, and hope nobody noticed me checking out your butt.

    Reply
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