Today In The Powder Room is opening the door. They want to do something about the fact that 1 in 3 women will be raped, sexually assaulted or abused in some fashion during her lifetime.
The writers are all tackling this issue today. I learned this from my girl The Bearded Iris, who discusses how Maroon 5 helped her teach her 9yo daughter about rape. (You need to read this piece.)
I don’t write for In The Powder Room. I was actually planning on posting some funny today.
But I was inspired otherwise.
Last year, I was walking past a shop and saw this in the window:
That little wooden sign made me start crying, right there on the sidewalk.
Because God Dammit, nothing kills me more than to see someone who has been abused allow their abuser stop them from thriving. Stop them from being who they deserve to be.
This is why, when I am with my girlfriends and that 1 in 3 statistic comes up, I think to myself:
I am so glad I am the one who was abused, because I wouldn’t want these women to have to feel that pain and learn to get over it. I wouldn’t want them to have to fight this fight from the front lines.
I learned how to take the hits, and never let it get in the way of my dreams.
It wasn’t my fault.
I am okay.
Just because someone else beat me, psychologically fucked with me, doesn’t mean I have to let him win. I always, innately, knew he was in the wrong. So I stood strong.
His hands and words tried – oh, how they tried – to keep me down. Tried to stifle my dreams.
But they couldn’t.
The day his fists had to stop will never be forgotten.
The day his words stopped made me breathe easier, knowing I’d never have to protect my kids from him.
And as I finish my book, as I write my words, as I get paid to do what I always dreamed of, as I get private messages from people who hear me, as I relish in the love of a wonderful husband, as I bask in the kids I would never treat in any way other than with pure love, I say to the man who tried to put his hands on my dreams…
…absolutely nothing. Because I am done with him. My back is turned. I moved on.
The only hands on my dreams now are my own, and those of my loved ones who are trying to help me reach them.
Which is exactly what I deserve.
If someone has hurt you? Don’t let them tell you or make you feel otherwise. Because you deserve to achieve your dreams, too.
And if you need a helping hand to reach your dreams? I am more than happy to lend you one of mine.