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The story of my life.
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You: Keep your eyes on your penis and watch where you’re peeing.
You: Keep your eyes off his penis and just brush your teeth.
How did you not notice you’ve been wearing two pairs of underwear all day long?
Please get your nose out of my tushie, and don’t put it there again.
I’m going upstairs to brush my teeth. I don’t want to hear any fighting.
I’m going to fold some laundry. I don’t want to hear any fighting.
I’m going to make dinner. I don’t want to hear any fighting.
I’ll be in my office working. I don’t want to hear any fighting.
I CAN HEAR YOU FIGHTING!
Of COURSE I know what it is…
I know you love turkey. But you can’t eat turkey with tire shards on it. Sorry.
Honey, please just be gentle with it. It’s the only penis you’re gonna get.
What are some crazy things you had to say to the kids lately?
Add your own crazy quotes here for now…
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