It has been well-documented that I look like Wolverine in between waxings.
Not only do I have the broad, overly-muscular shoulders of a mutant, I have a tendency to grow mutton chops that meet somewhere beneath my chin. And nose.
I know, now you’re thinking: Whoa. She sounds sexy. I’d love to get close to that.
Hold that thought.
Because recent observations of mine are making me think that Wolverine may be where I started, but Werewolf is where I’m about to end up.
Has anyone else noticed the similarities between being sick with a terrible cold for an extended period of time, and being a Werewolf?
My similarities include:
1. Being extremely irritable.
2. Loud, raspy open-mouth breathing.
3. Very hairy legs.
4. Abnormally rockin’ abs.
5. Uncontrollable mood swings you do NOT want to be around to witness.
6. People tend to back away from me when I enter the room.
7. I’m surrounded by absolute carnage when I wake from my stupors.
While some might find it pretty cool to howl at the moon and be super fast, I’m a kindly vegetarian who already has enough rogue body hair to deal with and loads of daytime responsibilities I need to be awake for.
So I’d prefer not to get a formal Werewolf diagnosis.
I’ll go to the doctor (again-again) later today to see what she says, since this bronchitis & sinus infection are not going away, and my asthma’s so bad I can barely yell at my kids to stop jumping on the couch without hunting for my rescue inhaler.
Let’s hope the 3rd time’s the charm.
Until then? You might want to keep your distance.
You know. Just in case.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~