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‘Tis the season to be crazy.
Fa La-La La-La. La-La. La. Oy.
<– That is a button you can click for past Things I Said
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Nobody wins when everybody whines.
Relax. I’m bigger and stronger than the Grinch. He can’t steal Christmas as long as I’m around.
Please try not to punch Daddy’s private parts.
I love you, too. Now get off me.
*pretend-dials cell phone* Hi, Santa? It’s Kim. We’re in Target. Do you see how they’ve been behaving? What should we do about that??
Hands off her, lips off him, now SIT DOWN and eat your breakfast.
THE ELF CAN SEE YOU DOING THAT.
Oh, yes, you poor thing. Your life if more tragic than a Dickens novel. Now get dressed so we’re not late to school.
Is that a pretzel up your nose? How do you not notice that?
What crazy things have you said this week?
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At this rate, you will never get off the naughty list. Oh, what? I’m naughty? Good, I will be able to share my charcoal with you, maybe we can have a Christmas barbecue.
LOL! I’d love a Christmas BBQ.
I’ve Sooooooo done the call to Santa ..
also:
” you DO remember, Elizabeth is watching – yes?”
“I can’t understand you when mumble and whine incoherently .. stop it and try again”
“That’s it – you’re opening each and every gift under that tree, and then they’re going BACK TO THE STORE!!”
“Please get your hands out of your pants, it’s gross … Seriously, get them out – stop it, STOP IT … STOP PICKING YOUR BUTT!”
Ooohhh yeah. You’ll appreciate this one:
https://letmestartbysayingblog.com/2011/08/15/the-question-i-never-should-have-asked/
~At least let me wipe the cottage cheese off your penis
~Stop licking the cat
~No, you can’t hit your sister in the head with the frying pan
~Those are ornaments, not toys. Leave them on the tree or I swear I’ll just throw the tree out the door.
~Please don’t make me go shopping again.
Oh thank GOD my child isn’t the only one sticking his junk in food.
…this is a GOOD thing??
I actually have photos of him with a yogurt container in *just* the right place to keep the photo from being pornographic. He went through a whole STAGE of wanting to eat in the buff. Now it’s just occassionally we end up with his junk in his food. o_O
Lol!
If you do throw the tree out the door? Pretty please send me the surveillance footage.
I love it! It’s a good thing I can’t remember most of the things I say to or in front of my children or I’d really be in trouble.
Husband shakes his head at me. A lot.
To my two year old son who was playing with my one year old: “Stop riding your brother. He is not a horse!”
LOL! Wait at least 12 more months, kiddo.
Things I said this week while commenting about all the arriving packages:
“Boy, the UPS man really loves me this week.”
“It’s been a different guy each day.”
“I bet his back is killing him from all the deliveries he’s been making here.”
-said completely innocently and without a giggle.
For some reason, I do not believe there was no giggling.
“How did you get poop on your hand? And stop touching your brothers with your poop hands.”
Ohhh and this just in …
Emily: *from the bathroom* MOOMMMMYYYY!!! MOOOMMMMM MOOOMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAA
Me; OMG WHAT EMILY!!
Emily: When can I wear my crocs to school? HUH? WHEN CAN I!?
Me: WHEN YOU REMEMBER TO STOP TALKING TO ME THREE ROOMS AWAY – WHILE YOU POOP!!!!!!
LOL! I get this, too. If it does not pertain to your plumbing? It is NOT a Bathroom Emergency, kids.