Yes, I’m doped up on pain killers and loopy from lack of sleep after yesterday’s surgery and my rather distractingly painful posterior. But I couldn’t help but notice the following similarities:
5. Your first meal when it’s over, even if it’s just a Hostess Coffee Cake and waxy cup of water, tastes more divine than anything Wolfgang Puck could produce in his fanciest restaurant.
4. Even the discharge nurse can’t keep a straight face when telling you doctor’s orders are not to have sex, especially not anal sex.
3. You lose about 10 pounds pretty much immediately, yet have no desire to show anyone how good you look. (See #4, above)
2. All Granny Panties, All The Time.
1. As much as you truly love her, your beautiful new asshole wakes you up every 90 minutes on the dot, all night long.
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