Having kids is like giving birth to narrow messy boom boxes whose volume is stuck on high to a really really annoying radio station.
The noise. Is. Endless.
Sometimes it is amusing, downright funny, even eduational.
But those times rarely occur while stuck in Newark International Airport during a 3-hour rain delay.
They are even more elusive while sitting in a packed airplane on the tarmac for waaaay longer than expected after aforementioned 3-hour delay, when they’re already bored with the stickers, coloring, reading but can’t use the iPads or cell phones to play games yet.
So this Thanksgiving while people across America are stuffing their faces with juicy golden turkey, puffy marshmallowed sweet potatoes, tangy cranberry sauce, garlicy mashed potatoes, artichokes heavy with breadcrumbs, pies of every fruit and custard, feeling so thankful for their feast…and I’m eating this:
…I will remember to be thankful for the Direct TVs sitting in front of my kids’ seats on Continental Flight 1188 today, and the ease with which my AMEX swiped those muthuhs into action.
For my remembering to pack their made-for-kids headphones in the backpacks that sat by their feet so I didn’t have to fork over another $6 for icky recycled airline headphones.
For the sweet, sweet TV-induced silence peppered with intermittant giggles coming from my right as I leaned back and read a book for the first time in far too long as we all zoomed towards Chicago for the holiday.
And finally, for the fully stocked wine cabinet that greeted me upon walking into my in-law’s apartment, offering ample servings of fruit and all-important antioxidants with which to nourish me throughout our stay.
Gobble gobble, indeed.
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