My back against the hastily paneled wall.
My feet up on the cold frosted glass of slim brown folding doors, knees inches from my nose.
Sweaters, dresses, untied fabric belts dangle around me.
In a smoky little house, in a boxy room, there was one tiny space I could wrap myself in to be alone.
The clothes that hung around me muffled the sounds.
The smell was wool, wood, must and BabySoft.
The dark held the secret of my silent tears.
I clung to my crammed, shaking angles, hoping.
Two decades later, I open a clean white door.
Sunlight streams across serene blue walls.
I lean back into a pile of hand-picked plush pillows, sink into my fluffy brown daybed.
Photos of people who bring me joy surround me.
The smell of lavender and paper soothes my spirit.
The view of my story boards, unfinished book, scribbled ideas inspire me.
The people who love me happily wait outside the door, allowing me my moments alone.
Knowing I’m not escaping them, I’m just getting back to me.
In comfort and quiet, I work my troubles out, I let the stories sing, I remember who I am, and am grateful that I can finally, truly, stretch out.
Hard at Work
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This post was written for Write on Edge’s Remembe{RED} memoir writing prompt.
The prompt went like this:
Where is your quiet place? What does it look like? What happens there?
Word limit is 200. Come back on Tuesday to link up!
This year I made myself an office in our home. It wasn’t until I laid in what is now My Spot that I realized how much I needed this. A space that is all mine. A space I could fit in. Something light years away from that tiny closet I used to crawl into.
And oh, do I relish it.
For more about my childhood bedroom, read: And Then She Opened the Door
For more about what my office means to me, what happened in there, read: All Aboard
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If you are new to Let Me Start By Saying…welcome! Read some more short memoir posts, About Kim, or for some funny, read my Favorite Posts page. Thanks for visiting!
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That looks heavenly.
Oh what I would give to have that. Where I can, even if its for a few minutes, just hide and gather my already scattered thoughts.
Glad you managed to do this. I firmly believe that everyone needs this. (Actually, mostly moms!
I find that I need to be alone every day to feel sane. My daybed is a tactile dream, exactly what I needed!
I hope you also find a spot for much-needed quiet.
*sigh* I would like a nice quiet space in my house, but I have a four year old boy! I like your description of your place and the movement from your childhood to the present.
I have a loud 4.5yo girl & almost 6.5yo boy. Sometimes “quiet” can be relative.
Your space sounds absolutely heavenly! Such a wonderful description of where you find peace, and I love your picture to go along with it.
That’s me doing what I do best in my office. I practice a lot.
I felt relaxed just reading this.
It’s always good when the people around you can understand your need for ‘me time’.
Just the paint I chose for in there has a soothing effect. I wish I could paint the world with it!
Lovely, truly.
We all need a space of our own, don’t we?
I love the smells that you described, they really brought me in. And the sunlight streaming in- that’s just plain stunning.
Thanks, Galit. My office happens to have 3 windows, and the light always somehow finds me in there. Like it knows how much I need it.
Nice…
I can’t believe your husband and little people let you be, there. I’m envious. My sanctuary is the potty:
http://lancemyblogcanbeatupyourblog.wordpress.com/2011/07/12/she-came-in-through-the-bathroom-window/
and even then, I get disturbed. Greta piece. Your words move and project.
I have no personal space anywhere on this planet. But I think they get that when I go in there, it’s different. Plus? I usually distract them somehow before I sneak in.
I love my couch. Now I love your couch, although I’m a bit concerned about the decapitation depicted in that shot. I don’t have an office that I write in at home, but rather my living room, sometimes my dining room (view outside to the bastard squirrels) and an “office” with a papisan chair that I can never get out of. I dig your space.
That daybed/couchy thing is luscious. I love it love it love it. My mom insists on sleeping on it when she visits, even though we have a guest room with a comfy bed in it.
Our bedroom is shaped like an “L”, and this is supposed to be the sitting area or whatever. I tried to make it a space to do yoga in, but crap kept getting tossed in there. So I put my foot down, put up a room divider screen and made it my own. Happy happy Kim.
I firmly believe everyone needs some alone time everyday. I loved the juxtaposition between your childhood closet and your office.
Being alone keeps me sane. I have a very busy head, and I need that quiet to settle it down.
I love the contrast here, and the connection you bring to it. I am glad you have this place…and that you are finding you, yet know the past is a part of who you are. A beautiful piece of writing! (as always)
Thanks, Terry! I feel like I have a lot more quiet within myself now than I did when I was a kid. I worked hard to seek silence back then. Now, I have kids and husband and blah blah blah but my life is still quieter, calmer now. And my office? Gives me exactly what I need to keep it that way.
Love this. I like the juxtaposition between the closet and your new space. And I’m a little bit jealous! Our house isn’t big enough for a special spot that is solely mine – enjoy!
Oh, I fought for this. Our bedroom is L-shaped so I bought a room divider and got to work.
You don’t need a castle, you just need creativity! You can find something, I’m sure of it.
I’m jealous. The only “quiet” space I can manage is to sit on the couch, ear buds in my ears, blasting music to drown out the noise. It’s noise, but it’s noise I choose. Quiet is, indeed, relative.
Relative, indeed!
Loved this line: “Knowing I’m not escaping them, I’m just getting back to me.” So true (most of the time, anyway!).
LOL! Ok, fine…sometimes I do just try to escape them.
But usually it’s just me.
Ah, nothing beats a space to call your own… Yes, it’s important to go back to yourself, to that space that is yours, your sanctuary, from time to time. After all, it’s the place where we can be true to ourselves… where we have nothing to hide.
Agreed agreed. I need to work out the shit in my head sometimes so I’m better for everyone else under my roof. We all benefit from me having this space.
I also use to hide in the closet when I was a kid. Lots of tears shed in that little box. I’m glad you found your new space and made it yours.
I was at my mom’s recently and saw the closet, and it shocks me that I used to squeeze in there. Oh, what we do when we have no other options.
I hope you’re no longer hiding in closets, friend. I hope you have your own quiet and peace as well.
That sounds like an amazing space. I loved how you described everything-I could really see it all.
I honestly smile every time I open the door to my office. There’s like some force field that keeps everyone else out of it. It even smells different than the rest of the house. Love it in there.
I yearn for a home office. We have absolutely no room for me to have one
Sigh, I will think of yours!
I made it out of a part of my bedroom. Get creative, and maybe you can find a corner that can be made into one somewhere, too…
This is so wonderful- Grateful to stretch out indeed!
I would love it if you would link up to my Giving Gratitude Link Party. This would be perfect for it!
Meredith From A Mother Seeking Come find me on my blog, A Mother Seeking…
I just might take you up on your invite, thanks!
I truly appreciate the juxtaposition of the two places. It stresses the eternal importance of a place to escape.
I think we all need an escape of some sort, always. I’m just thankful that what I’m escaping has changed so much.
This was so beautifully written. I loved the contrast between being in a ball and stretching out. We all need a spot to escape.
Thanks. And yes, we do. In many different ways.