Welcome to Show & Tell! This is a special series I decided to host after discovering that many bloggers have stories to tell that can’t be told on their own blogs.
For details on how you can be an Anonymous Guest Blogger here or to read more stories, check out the Show & Tell page.
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The Nana Chronicles
My MIL is visiting again. She comes twice per year and stays for 3-4 weeks. It’s hard. Real hard. I can’t write about it on my own blog because I can’t risk the wrong person seeing it. So I write here, anonymously, because keeping this stuff in would surely be bad for my health.
These are the Nana Chronicles. In these chronicles, my 4-year-old son will be referred to as ds (dear son), my nearly 2-year-old daughter as dd (dear daughter), and my husband as dh (dear husband).
I Did It!
Nana has left the building. I survived and did not commit nanacide. I mostly kept my trap shut, thanks in a large part to Kim for allowing me to vent so much here. I was like a too-full balloon and I could just shoot an email off to Kim and deflate a little bit of the toxic stuff that filled me.
In the end, as I always do, I felt bad for Nana at her departure. My overwhelming emotion was sadness, followed closely by relief. She is a crazy woman who lives alone and seems to get crazier each visit. She lost her husband, dh’s dad, years ago. He was one of the kindest, gentlest men I’ve ever known. Also, he kept her tethered to Earth, normalcy and society. Without him her anxiety and weirdness have just grown and grown. This all proves that I’m a gargantuan bitch for how mean I am to her (privately on the internet).
Next time she sees her only grandchildren they will be completely different people. She misses birthdays, Christmases, and all those millions of little things that happen between her visits. 6 months to a year does a lot to a toddler and preschooler. Again, I’m a heartless bitch.
On the other hand, I can now reclaim my rightful place as matriarch (boss) of my home. I can wipe down the kitchen and know that it’s clean. I can clear the trash out of the toybox and any remaining food out of the cupboards. My kids are entering into the stage I like to call Nana Hangover. This is the transition period where they suck and give me a headache while I get them used to our normal routines again.
Thanks again to Kim for giving me this outlet and to all the readers and commenters who helped me laugh to get through it all. I’ll see you again next time!
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Comments are always welcome.
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I enjoyed reading the Nana chronicles b/c I can totally identify. Having a MIL visit is really hard. My bitchiness comes out full throttle as well. My MIL just spent four days here – I know, only four days, but it’s like forever. I always have lots of stories when she leaves. Perhaps I need a blog. She visits 3-4 times a year (thankfully, she lives 2000 miles away) and I can barely make it the four days. My house turns into pure chaos. My kids don’t listen. Grammy does weird things. This visit she overshared with my kids, my neighbors and I how she sleeps in the nude (including while visiting my house). I really didn’t need to know that this 70 yr old woman goes commando all day and full nude at night. Guess what we’re giving her for her birthday? That’s right – underwear and pajamas. Don’t come to my house without them!
You are, unfortunately, not the only one. I have heard of multiple Grannies who sleep in the buff when visiting their kids. (I think “Ew” is the politically correct term to use here)
Sending big hugs and a fresh bottle of wine. My MIL arrived an hour ago. Husband has already unleashed the F-bomb at her and she’s now outside on her cell phone. Going to be an awkward breakfast.
LMAO!!
I love you anonymous blogger. Really. Over the course of 15 posts I can say I feel like our virtual bond is cemented. Sure, that might seem creepy, but what else can it be but love when one person’s harrowing tales remind me of my own adjustments with my MIL? And mine’s a doll. I mean, she’s never left a pot of potaotoes in my cupboard or challenged me to one-armed push-ups.
Enjoy the relief. Save it up for next time. And remember, we’ll be here waiting to receive the purge. It’s the purge that keeps you from actually being a gargantuan bitch.
Oooh it’s over! When is she coming back?! I can hardly wait!!!!!
Anonymous Guest Blogger,
I was so happy to help. I find it cathartic to bitch about things to my friends, so I hope this did the same for you! The next time she books her flight, you better let me know so i can clear my calendar and tell The Girls we’ve got some good reading ahead of us….
No go drink, dammit! Champagne this time: it is a celebration.
I’m looking at actually living with my MIL for a year or so in the future because she lives as you put it in a far far away land. Your posts make me feel far less apprehensive since my main concern is merely getting her to take me seriously as an adult and mother (she treats me like one of her grandchildren) and stay off her bum knee and not take care of me and the baby all day.