It is blurry and you can’t even see our faces, but this (rare) photo of me and Mr T is a perfect example of our relationship. I grin each time I see it:
He brings out the silly in me, makes me laugh and pick him up and wrestle and play games.
He is a natural athlete and tries his best at every sport, asks questions and actually works on getting better each time he throws, catches, kicks, or swings.
He’s a joke-teller and a really, really sweet kid.
He does things that catch me by surprise, even when he was real little, like stop and take in the scene around him when he could be running amock like the other kids.
I don’t think I talk about him as much as Miss A around here, simply because he isn’t as annoying as her.
Don’t get me wrong: he is annoying*. He just doesn’t challenge me as much as his little sister does. He doesn’t really stress me out or cause me much anguish.
*News flash: all kids are annoying.
Except for when I delivered him.
Have you ever heard of those women who spontaneously go into labor and shoot a kid from their loins faster than one can say “Get me a damn epidural!”?
That would be me.
Six years ago today, on my due date for my first child, I was on the phone with a girlfriend as I puttered around the apartment getting ready to go to a morning matinée of a new movie. Since it was Friday, she was at work, so she had to stifle her giggles when I got her off the phone by saying, “Gotta go. Either I need to poop or I’m in labor”
Ha ha ha.
Ahem.
I, well, you know, and go to wash my hands. My first contraction knocked me so hard I had to cling to the sink to not fall on the floor.
Two hours later I am in the hospital being told that there is no time for pain meds, I am going to have this kid whether I am ready or not.
I’d love to say I embraced this information with grace.
I did not.
Through a combination of yoga breaths and loud curses I managed the pain of delivering my son at warp speed** and without my much-pleaded-for epidural.
**”Warp speed” being 2 hours 45 minutes from 1st contraction to delivery. Ouch.
Was he worth it?
Oh yeah. He’s very cute.
Would I do it drug-free again?
Hells no. Shooting anything with shoulders 400% wider than your Lady Lane hurts like a MoFo, no matter how Zen you’re trying to be.
But at least he came on his due date, which just proved how much he respected my need to always be on time.
And just like that, I became a mom.
In celebration of his birthday today, and since I don’t talk about him enough, please allow me to take you through a few stories I have shared about Mr T and his adventures.
Like his thoughts on vulvas.
This short post shows how he keeps me sane at the end of my long battle-filled days with his sister.
This is one of my first posts. The moment I laid my hand on his sleepy back, it began to write itself.
Becoming a mom gave me so much material to write about, some good and some not-so-good. It also made me refocus my goals and hopes and dreams both for myself and for my kids.
It also gave me hemorrhoids.
These days I work hard to balance living with both these lofty goals and the painful swelling in my ass. These are difficult tasks, but if I had to give him back to be free of both?
Not a chance.
And now? Time for cake.
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If you are new to Let Me Start By Saying…welcome! Check out the About Kim page, read some of the short Memoir Posts to get a peek into my past, or for some funny, see my Favorite Posts page. Thanks for visiting!
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Great photos and delightful post – I really enjoy your writing style!
Thank you! There are so few pics of me & him (or I should say me, period) that I love this one.
Lady Lane. I’ve never heard that before. I envy your labors. I always had the blood pressure bottoming out/C-section threat before mine would cooperate. Definitely indicative of their future personalities. I wouldn’t trade them for anything, though. Well, most days anyway.
I made Lady Lane up today, and have been giggling about it ever since.
Sorry about your sucky deliveries. I wish they could all be relaxing, but I rarely hear of that!
Poignant, sappy & hilarious – this is why we love you.
Thank you, Paige!
Another great post. I’m reading in bed next to sleeping T and in an effort to stifle my giggles I ended up waking him and giving him the impression I was either having a seizure or sobbing. He was both relieved and annoyed and didn’t find Lady Lane as giggle worthy as I do. And balancing lofty goals and painful ass swelling? Both hilarious and one of the best summations of motherhood I’ve ever heard.
I am very proud of “Lady Lane”, a term that I made up yesterday and am sharing with everyone who will listen.
Maybe I’ll send a letter to my OB/GYN’s office suggesting they start using it in their documentations…?
Love that picture of him and the pumpkins- it is very cool.
Thanks! The kids were wandering around, checking out every single pumpkin there to decide which they wanted, and he just stopped to sit and look around. I loved that he did this and the composition of this act through my viewfinder.
I think I should clarify my “like.” I like all of this post except the part about you having hemorrhoids. I dislike that part.
Agreed, my friend. AGREED.